Walk Along the Marginal Way

Snow, snow, snow and then some more snow

We will be enjoying our first real snow storm today.  I have six dogs to get out in the snow (that means we have four guest boarders).  Our daycare may come along if his owner feels like braving the blizzard today.

I tried to complete a blog posting titled "Apologies, Acknowledgements, and Boundaries, Oh My!", but my mind is distracted by going out and having some fun!

That is a good thing:)

December is Not Christmas Time Anymore

Here we are in December, a month that I very much enjoyed as a child.   Being an only child, I did actually get a lot of gifts on Christmas and during the family part on Christmas Eve.  I loved the decorations, making up the tree, and most of all Gram's house.   I don't think it's faulty or sentimental on my part to think those Christmas's and other holidays at Gram's house were filled with a little magic.   Okay, maybe that is a little exaggeration there LOL.   Those were the holidays that I loved, and they were gone many years before Gram finally succumbed to old age and all of it's problems.

I did go on celebrating Christmas with my little family.   On the first of one of my dog's deaths, Neptune, on December 21st that magic started dwindling away.   Since then this month (not year) has seen the loss of my Mother In Law, Mustache our cat, Jazz our first dog, and finally Jackie last year.   These are by far the worst of estrangements.   My grandfather passed away a couple of days after being too sick to spend Thanksgiving with us.  I missed my last Christmas with my Granmother, because monster did not want her to come and then complain about going back to the assisted care facility.   I should have just gone and spent Christmas with grandmother!!  In my current frame of mind, the thought that I just could have done that did not even occur to me.

So while in general I enjoy holidays more because I don't have the past obligations to the estranged, I do not think the month of December will ever hold the joy for me that it once did.   I am okay with that, it's nice to remember my fallen friends and family who have been estranged through the event of death.   That is more important than a holiday made to commercialize everything:)

However, though these are joyful memories, they do make me a little blue, as my time with those friends and family members have passed.   December is filled with so many days of passed family and friends.   So it is important to get out and enjoy life in honor of those that have passed.  

A lot of my pick me up comes from my husband and my dogs.   We have been watching the first season of Columbo on Netflix, and also whipping each other's ass in Playstation 3 fighting game.   I have continued to cook with my husband.   We have been having a lot of fun doing this.   I used to hate cooking as I had no instruction pre my marriage in the correct way of doing things, and so my meals turned out like crap.   I need A LOT of instruction just to get through the little things that go wrong, or what the consistency should look like, or what's the difference between this mixing and that mixing.   With instruction, go figure, we have had some excellent meals that we made together.

Yesterday, I started clearing out some skating paths in our wetlands out back, which have frozen over.  Good work out, and kept the dogs out there for about four hours while I worked on it.   I think we all got good and frozen, and then took a nice long cuddly nap together.   No doubt some good exercise came from it too, as I am clearing the brush ET and that blocks the paths in the wetlands.  It snowed yesterday, so now I have that to look forward to clearing.   I don't know if the rink will be done today, but it should be done by Christmas if I work diligently on it.

My In Law family is Jewish.   Traditionally, they have not done the big family thing around Hanukkah.   Although my family alternates it between my cousin's house and the sperm donor's house, I have wished more to see other family during times when I won't be around the sperm donor and the monster.   Also it seems that side of the family thinks if we see each other, we will run straight into each other's arms.  Now spermy might put on a good show for the family, but I have seen him outside the family and did not feel an out pouring of love and good wishes from him.  I also saw him a long time ago at a family event, where the monster spent her time coming up to any family member that I was trying to talk to and getting in between us to try to prevent it (she is an utter peach that way).   I just don't need that kind of drama and selfishness around me.   Not even because it's the holiday, it's because life is too short for me to have to deal with that.  

If family does not make other times available to see me when we are not even a mile away from each other, then clearly they have no interest in me.   As such, they are hardly family in any sense of the word besides biology.  That does not mean I hold hard feelings towards them, I don't.   But why would I be putting myself out there in an uncomfortable situation with people that I barely saw once a year previously?  To me, that is not family.

There is one to three relatives that tried to have any sort of forward/future relationship with me in any active way:)

From Unbearably Hot to Chilly Willy

Maine had a pretty hot summer season this year. The weather was definitely for the beach. I was at home most of the time with 11 or more doggies to supervise and entertain, but I did make it out there on occasion.

Now, in typical Maine weather fashion, Fall seems to have slammed into us with chilly breezes in the late afternoon. Still beautiful out though, just need to recalibrate the old body to the temperature change. I am actually pretty thrilled to be able to layer in stuff to keep warm. Even by stuffing my bra with ice cubes, I was unable to keep the heat away, except by hiding in air conditioning. Training and watching dogs for a living, you do eventually need to come outside. The poor dogs this summer, they had nothing in the afternoon heat.

Now that it's Fall all the dogs have found their energy and play drive again. I am able to exercise and train outside, and actually be comfortable doing it again. I do love Fall.

And the best part is, IT'S ALMOST HALLOWEEN!!! I am just a "little" nutty about the Halloween season. My decorations are already up.

Dear Time Warner Cable

Dear Time Warner Cable/Roadrunner,

I have worked with you on your monopoly our relationship during absurd fees for services, and not even being aware of what exactly you are withholding in your lump sum I am paying for. I have gone insane trying to figure out why my computer won't connect to the internet, only to find it it's something going on with TimeWarner cable’s service being down.

I have resigned myself that a special wiring is needed in order to not have wireless computer connections, which work right sporadically at best all over the house. We weathered the storm when we found out that TIME WARNER fraudulently intentionally configured THEIR ROUTER (which we were required to rent) not to reach our whole house (as others were sharing a wireless connection).

However, this last Saturday when you assholes rearranged my channels, and changed them to ones that my programs were no longer available on.....especially Harper's Island. I won’t even rant about mention the Fear.net debacle.

Let's just say, I've been re-evaluating your worth to our relationship and me thus far. Dumb
Asses; I can get on the computer connection that I already pay for. I can even get it in High Def, if that was a priority to me. I now cannot get certain programs available to me on my computer on your service AT ALL. I'm just saying a simple wire from my computer to large television screen gets me all the same programming. A 17.00 per month fee to Netflix gets me about 40 movies a month, and some of these can go through a box direct to my television making it at least twice the amount of movies!! If I rent from you, I am paying 4.00 for any
decent movie per piece!!

So I am paying 40.00 for online service, 40.00 for digital telephone mail (which apparently can also be worked through my computer instead for much less), 40.00 for box rentals, and 50.00 for cable. You see my dilemma, right? I could be paying 40.00 for online, less than 10.00 for digital telephone through my computer, 0.00 for box rentals, and
nothing for cable.

I am sorry for the abrupt "Dear John" letter, but this just is not working out for me.

Sincerely,

Jane Doe

The Debates

Hello My Dysfunctional American Family Friends,

I don't watch the debates, but I love seeing parodies and blogs about the debates. See my mind has been made up for a long time, and watching the debates would just get me all hot and bothered!! Plus I find the reports about John McCain's physical appearance quite alarming. Seriously the age thing is a serious deal. Anyone know where Cheney's been lately. What did we see him like three times since his term began?????

So my dysfunctional way to deal with this is only to read the (or watch the video of) humorous things that make me laugh out loud, or snort coffee out of my nostrils. It's much less painful this way.

While Obama was not my first choice, and he is my lesser of two evils...and a bit slick for my taste, I actually think he won't make a bad president. I would have preferred Hillary. Palin is the nail in McCain's coffin I believe, and a representation of the really bad choices that he would make as the potential President of the United States. Yikes. Did I say really bad decision? There must be a better adjective that describes that better. Dumb ass decision. WTF decision. Did you recently have a brain injury? Decision. And that the runner up was Mitt Romney!! I lived in Massachusetts, and let me tell you, they have not had a candidate worthy Governor in like, however. Closest would be Weld, but he blew it big time by not keeping his word, and leaving not once, but essentially twice!! Fool me once....shame on you. Fool me twice.....shame on me!!

Nothing good ever comes from the Governor's office of Massachusetts. I have been so traumatized, I don't even know who the Governor of Maine is. I don't know that I could go through the disappointment again. Swifty was by far the worst. Put the possibility of a woman in the Governor's office back about 500 years.

Anyhow, my rant kind of went off topic there. Anyone else not able to watch the debates for fear of going off the deep end?

Boogey Board Queen

Yesterday was an awesome beach day. Besides it being the perfect degrees with cooling wind that made you the perfect temperature, the storm also blew in some warmer water from the south.

Not only that, the waves were soaring above us, and then crashing into us like a linebacker . Makes it a bit tiring, if you are like me and can actually catch a wave (especially all the way in) like me, and sadly unlike the husband:( Perhaps we will have another coaching session today. It was quite a workout, fun but battling the waves back in was exhausting eventually, even though I would have liked to have stayed out.

Not being a strong swimmer, and being able to feel the undertoe, plus finding myself in above my head more than once, I thought it best to air on the side of caution after a half hour to forty five glorious minutes of that.

I caught four incredible waves in, and then seven or eight so so rides that were short. The four were really good, and at one point me and another lady were flying right beside each other, and I had to steer my board for the first time so that we wouldn't collide head on!

Virtual Sunday Easter Visit from the S Donor

Can I just post to you the days my dad does and will check this blog? In no particular order they are Easter Sunday, Christmas or Christmas Eve, Father's (hah) Day, Valentine's Day,....do you get the picture?

Interestingly enough these correspond with the days he would do his "S Donor" duty and call, or drop of a card, or prifty's candies. Yup, those were the good old days....hardyharhar. 5-15 minutes of stilted conversation talking to a virtual stranger.

Now I get "virtual" holiday visits. Meanwhile, he ripped up one Christmas card from me, and did not even bother to reply to a Thanksgiving message from me. And now I have realized how good it is to be free of him. I kind or realized that before, I was just being the "dutiful" daughter, which I have realized is a real waste of my time and energy.

What really fascinates me about these visits are that he reads up on himself. Don't you know yourself buddy? I have been assured by you that you are aware you were a crappy father. So you know it's not to "check up" on me, but rather check up on what I am saying about him LOL. Que surprise, my S Donor self serving and selfish, say it isn't so.

Glad I checked sitemeter today, I was stretching for something estrangement related to bitch about.

Anywho, Robert and I gorged ourselves on chocolate from Harbor Candy Shop in Ogunquit ME. Last year we went to the Wentworth for brunch, which I enjoyed but the husband did not (a lot of shrimp and stuff that I like....more lunch than breakfast----which he likes). He wants brunch for his birthday, which we will have at our favorite, Bintliffs, also in Ogunquit. Gingerbread pancakes with lemon curd syrup, now that's what I am talking about. Also the ribs for dinner are to die for.

Frozen Friday

19 friggin degrees out this morning. Even the Great Pyrenes and Newfoundland boarding here want nothing to do with it!!!

The only bright side to this freakin weather is that I will be benefitting from the snow when I am skiing next week!!!! I feel bad for the dogs I am walking and training today.

Airing Out the Family Room Today

It's a lazy daisy President's Day here in Maine. It has turned springlike once again. This back and forth from freezing to melting is killing me....perhaps literally . Seems it's a haven for the breeding dust mites that I am most allergic to. Meds are working well though, although they make me famished, and I am now at my heaviest. Yipee. Need to lock that down, and learn how to deal with the new meds, as I am not about to give them up.

I am still in my "bunny and carrot" pajamas and new Acorn slippers (awesome). My dogs and the tenants dogs are busy alternating between lazying around and playing rough with each other as the spirit moves them. I am thinking "when is dinner" and I just ate lunch (see what I mean about the new meds).

In typing this, I am procrastinating (actively) from all I need to do today. Need to get in Brie and Jack's training for the day. I need to work out, and I need to get out the last of my promo mailing for my business. I suspect I am about to play Spider Solataire instead.

God, I am a lazy ass today, but it feels so right:)

White Stuff

I forgot that it was going to be a storm today yesterday. I woke up all confused as to what the "white blanket" was outside my window this morning. One window was a wall of white, and the one behind my head looked like it was not snowing at all.

As my dogs, whose bathroom is outside, will attest, IT IS SNOWING. Snowing hard as a matter of fact. It's almost hard for my Dobermans to pee and poop above the snow. We will probably have to shovel out an area for them when it slows a bit. Very good boys and girls today though, they sucked it up and got er done.

Yesterday, I was going to suggest a road trip. Looks like that is out for the day. It seemed like such an inspired idea yesterday, and today I can't even remember what it was. Looks like I am going to be cleaning, decorating, and making Christmas cards today. Also a list for the local business "cookie" party that I will be throwing together.

It's been lovely being able to enjoy December with mostly only my dogs in our house. Oh that's right, going to be doing some indoor training with Jackie today.

First Snow!!

We had our first snowfall today. Looks like this Thanksgiving is not shaping up to be like the last few Thanksgivings (record high temps, and spring like warm days). We may even have a snowy not only Thanksgiving but, gasp, Christmas as well.

Of course this came on the verge of a plague that was dropped off, when one of my clients picked up their dog. I did manage to get out with the dogs to appreciate a bit of it. Still it is raw, and damp. The snow is turning again to mush from the earth that isn't sufficiently frozen enough yet to retain it in it's frozen state.

Best Idea EVER

Grocery stores (some or most) now boil the darned lobster for you. Guilt free lobster for 6.99 per pound instead of 32.00 at the restaurant, or killing your own lobster by boiling. I am aware I shouldn't feel so proud of that, as bottom line, I had my husband order the death of a lobster for my dining pleasure.

I did honor it by eating everything possible, and thinking it delicious.

Friggin Cold Out There

B---fucking---rrrrrrr. Heat still hasn't gone on here, and we are standing strong. In the high sixties INSIDE the house during the day, and I am assuming mid fifties at night. Just got to buck up, as it doesn't NORMALLY get warmer as we go towards November. Although the past two Thanksgiving days have been in the high seventies, I swear, and also Halloween has been nice for the past four years or so. Christmas has even been warm!!

Anyway, let the tricks and treats begin this month. One of my very favorite holidays!!

First Official Fall Day

It's Co-co-co-cold this morning

Here is where it becomes a real test of "when to turn on the heat". In my older age, I have gotten surprisingly better about sucking it up. As my husband says, ever since I discovered skiing, it seems my internal thermometer has adjusted accordingly.

Dog training and exercising seems to warm one up a little during the day. So I am looking forward to stopping the typing of blogs on the computer (sometimes done with mittens on even when it is warm in the house but not now), and to go to the warmth of physical activity inside or outside!!

Not frost weather yet, by far, but a bit of a reminder that it's coming.

Better get out there and do some apple picking for the apple pies that my husband bakes around this time!!!!

Thursday Thirteen (13) Things I Looooovveee About Fall

Okay, it's not fall yet, not even here in Maine. However, the leaves are starting to turn, the weather is changing, and I know one of my favorite seasons is coming. Here are the things that I love about fall:

1. Halloween. Favorite holiday bar none.


2. Leaves when they change.


3. Crisp fall air.


4. Tourists have at least become less around here.


5. Soup for dinner.


6. Thanksgiving.


7. No need for air condition or heat (saving some money).


8. Putting on the fall clothes (favorite sweaters and turtlenecks). Also good camouflage for things.


9. Apple picking.


10. The season for candied applies, dumplings and apple pie.


11. Pumpkin pie or soup.


12. New tv programming seasons start (I think)


13. Driving in the car, and looking at the scenery. Or hiking and looking at the scenery

Lovely Weather Again

Ahhhhh, weather in the high seventies again, and not the nineties. Just lovely. I was taking like three showers a day, changing my clothes about that many times, while training the dogs before. Now I can be in cute little outfits for the whole day again and not wonder if I have started to reek!!! LOL.

My camera is back, so pictures of the Thai Ridgeback puppy at Mannerly Mutts Academy for dogs are bound to show up soon. How sweet, it cost nothing to get it fixed. So relieved as I am totally in love with that camera.

The phone thing works okay, but then I need to take the extra step to e-mail each one to my computer. Yuck. And you can only take so many on your phone of course.

****Another blogger plus recently added, is that it automatically saves your posts now.

Stick to The Long Sands on Long Sand Beach

You know, I forget now that I am so oooollllddd, that I don't enjoy the beach so much for sunning anymore. I enjoy the walking, wading my feet, and boogey boarding aspect of it.

Forgot that today, so I picked what looked like a quiet secluded little spot, and it was. Also the non groomed spots get a bit smelly though, as the decaying whatever ---snails, clams, crabs that the seagulls have dropped or anything that came in with the seaweed. Things that smell good to me in a pot at the restaurant, but not so fragrant boiling in the heat of the sun on the beach.

Got myself a Vogue for my fix for the year, and a couple of trashy books from the rite aid in town. I am bored with all my regular authors about now, so I am hoping to stumble across a new one soon. Brought my PS2 but was too hot and sweaty to play it. It was amazingly hot out today, despite being kind of cool, wet and nasty for a little while now.

The reason that I ended up on the secluded little beach was there were SO many tourists. It's a good note to myself to walk just a little bit further next time, so I have full use of barefoot friendly sandy beaches that go on for miles, and clear access to the ocean if I want to jump in with my boogey board.

It was a nice hour of solitude just bumming around for a bit and reading trashy stuff. A bit lonely without the husband or dogs around though. So after an hour, I had enough. Before that, I was two hours on the beach this morning doing what I love, playing and training with the doggies.

Here Comes The Sun!!

Looks like it's finally a beach day outside today. Hooray!! It's been such a damp and human mosquito infested horror show around here lately.

Course every tourist is bound to be at the beach, so it would be a better "shopping" day!!

Don't have any good magazines or books to bring down, but do have my way cool PS2 (of which I still don't know how to operate half the features) to bring down with my Laura Croft Tomb Raider game.