Other Blogs on the Subject

I have found it comforting to read about other people's experiences with their families. These sort of posts let you know that you are not alone. Since I don't feel the need to expand upon my own estrangement recently, I have decided to share some interesting blogs and writings that I have found. As with medical issues that I have, I have found that estrangement is not the worst thing to happen to me in this world. I have a great husband, enjoy my dogs, do what I love for a living, live where I want to live, and have good friends. My life by my own definition is successful in the most important ways, as I am sure my reader's lives thrive. Recognize your successes, and find the comfort that you are not alone by a long shot:)

Interview with Author of "Former Things"

Former Things Blog

How to be Present in Your Family if You Are a Workaholic

Be Careful About Bad Mouthing Your Ex Spouse

Interesting Blog about Borderline Personality Disorder in a Mother

Bipolar Disorder Info

The following are links about BiPolar disorder. This is what I have, though really no tests were ever done, just descriptions of how I was feeling. Sort of a funny story, I finally went for help during a time where my company was being acquired and moving.

***Note my E Donor thought this meant I couldn't hold a job when I talked about this. However, there is little one can do when their company is closed down and moved to Wisconsin or Georgia. Oh, yes they wanted me to move to, but silly me wanted to live where I wanted to, which is on the north eastern coast near our beautiful oceans (.7 miles away baby)

It was a very stressful time. I think 9/11 had just happened to. So I waited until I thought I could talk without crying. When I got to the office however, and started to talk about it, I just balled and balled. We talked awhile about what was going on, and Me and Celexa met for the first time. What a friggin relief!! Much more able to deal with a stressful situation like I normally would (nose to the grindstone and move forward).

I just thought it was funny, here I waited until I felt my mood was under control, and it was not. This was the first time this poor doctor met me too, and I think she was a little alarmed at the response, but I have never been suicidal or prone to hurting myself during "the blues" or "the manic" periods. I have been prone to hiding under the covers, or working all night long on something that really isn't that important.

Any who here are some links:

BiPolar Misc Information

The following related conditions are also talked about (and this is what I most likely suffer from, as I function well without the meds, but truly internally feel like crappolla):

Cyclothymia or Cyclothymic Disorder
Cyclothymia is characterized by manic and depressive states, but neither state is of significant duration or intensity to warrant a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder or of Clinical or Major Depression or Unipolar Disorder. Cyclothymic Disorder is diagnosed where there is a history of hypomania, with no previous episodes of mania or severe depression.

Dysthymic Disorder (otherwise known as Dysthymia or Dysthemia)
Dysthymic Disorder symptoms are milder and longer-lasting than those of Major Depression, and they are usually not disabling. This disorder may develop in childhood, but usually emerges in middle age. It is common for dysthymic patients to experience major depressive episodes. Also referred to as neurotic depression, minor depression, or intermittent depression, characteristics include at least a two-year history of depressed moods, with episodes lasting two or more days. Dysthymic Disorder is not severe, has less impact on daily activities, but can last for years, or even decades.

Good Collection of Borderline Personality Disorder

This is a really good collection of articles regarding borderline personality disorder, apparently what my grandmother may have been diagnosed with. I like the first one that describes one person's actual dealings with it. I have never really understood what "it" is. Though my E Donor would like to perhaps think I have this, I don't have any symptoms related to this.

Mental illness does not, generally, cause family estrangement. Mental illness does not necessarily make someone not a nice person. They can be hard to deal with at times, like my father in law especially at the end (hallucinations, conspiracy theories, not wanting treatment or help), but it did not make him a not nice person. During the moments when his illness did not affect him totally, he was a nice, gentle and kind man. No malice in his heart, although perhaps he had a lack of tact sometimes . That can be charming every now and then, or appalling depending on the circumstance LOL. The point is, he cared about and loved his family. He did the best he could with what he had, he was aware that he was suffering from a mental illness that needed medication every day. If he had a day where he may have been "off", there would be an apology following. Or perhaps even while it was happening.

My grandmother was not a nice person. As far as I have experienced and read, my mother is not a nice person. All her fantasies involving me involve me failing somehow in life . It's always a put down or a criticism. Never, "oh how wonderful she is trying something new". I must be a lousy accountant, as she did not get the quality and caliber of gift she wanted. I will out her for her "bipolar" disease that I have been itching to do since I found out about it two years ago. Perhaps I will even attribute other mental illnesses to her.

Sorry, not a nice person. Also not a person that even if she had a mental illness, is a nice person. Like I said, relationships and our responses to them can be controlled. We are still "us" inside, not our mental illness. And it's not a word I am ashamed of, it's been an easily controlled condition. I could have had heart disease, asthma, cancer, cleft pallet, no arms or legs, been paralyzed, MS, peanut allergies, lactose intolerant (or allergic to chocolate LOL) and on and on. I have something that requires me to take a pill a day. Big friggin deal. I don't die or go insane if I don't take it, I feel a bit blue. It's not pleasant, but it's not life threatening either. Course in my mother's world, it is something to hold over me!! Yet, she thinks I would ever have a personal discussion again. I don't choose to associate with people that are that negative. I mean that's my choice, and I will use that choice.

Mental illness may be an aggravation to family estrangement however, or a complication if you will. Especially if one is not familiar with the things that can go on, or what the responses are, and more possibly if someone does not get help or treatment.

Good Article on Narcistic Personality Disorder

If one suspects that someone has Narcistic Personality Disorder, this link provides good detail on what that is. Now only a doctor can diagnose this, but this may help some people feel better that others deal with these things with family members, friends, spouses, children, et et.

It may not be your imagination. Please note, there is little that professionals think they can do about this disorder in some circumstances. So the choice is to stay and deal, or run run run.