Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Six posts over three years to say you are wrong? Or that everyone else is wrong?

There has been an elephant that I have been trying to ignore, but have become fascinated by it.  My egg donor has been writing a now six part series on "being wrong".   I have no idea what the point is to any of these posts.

You would think I might have some insight into this, but even looking at these seems akin to falling down the rabbit hole that is my egg donor's rational in the worlds of things too big and too small (and way off kilter).   It's been a couple of years since I have specifically brought up either of my donors as a topic, but I am just too fascinated.   It's sort of like seeing something disturbing (like the injury to the basketball player in the news) and yet need to look to be sure it's okay.   When you look though, there is no way this is okay (or sane).  My mother wrote a similar odyssey of her martyrdom, sacrifice, and the harsh cruel world that forced it's indignities on her in parts I, II, III, and of course IV.  I have linked my thoughts as this series went on here.

Now to be followed by the six, yes six, and lengthy part series on "being wrong".   I had done some posts on her previous four part series, as I was confused as to the purpose of these postings.   You know this was not new to me, except for one disturbing piece of information.  I had after all, been the accident that began the whole story, and lived in the house as the "events" unfolded while living in the donors self involved dramas as the bit part pawn.   Course I shouldn't be surprised that the egg donor might have forgotten that I was there at all!

So now we this most recent series that I will try to summarize the message of (though I am thoroughly confused as I read them, and wonder if some sort of small stroke might have occurred or dementia):

Part 1 May 30, 2011  Entitled "Being wrong the book the experience" Here we find that she finds her friends are wrong about Bob and Janice (see part 4).   So she is first not liking them, but then finds her friends are wrong, and likes them.   So here is where she is wrong, but then wait for it...Part 4 nix that, she was right all long!   In each she is the hero or the victim.   Heroically she reverses her sheep like reaction, and overcomes her wrong friends.   Then she finds she is a victim to her rescues, and her friends were right after all.   Meaning ultimately, she was always right, always doing the right thing.

Part 2 June 14, 2011 Entitled "More on the subject of being wrong"talks about deception on the Bachelorette?  Um, er, okay.   This is reality.

Part 3 October 2, 2012    Entitled "When you are just plain wrong"   Talks about how she was wrong on her assumption of Hugo (you might think one would notice a trend in themselves by now...ASS umptions based on nothing more than the marbles rolling around in her skull)  

Part 4 October 4, 2012  Entitled "How is it that we choose the wrong answer?" Now it is Bob and Janice, started from an above post.   Now they the very horrible people she first thought they were based on other people's opinions, who she found to be wrong previously (LMAO).  So is that like a double negative, where wait for it, she was right all along.

Part 5 March 28, 2013 (***and I have to note this came after "someone" was reading extensively on my blog after I posted on 3/25) She read a book called Being Wrong.   In it it described an experiment where people would give an incorrect answer (on something that would be obvious) in the presence of other people who gave an incorrect answer (sounding like peer pressure or the sheep response to me)   Other people apparently incorrectly believed they were paralyzed.   So we are all capable of believing anything at all, and thus are always incorrect (you know except possibly one person *her*)  Blah blah blah, and how others treat other strangers on the Internet regarding what side of estrangement they are on, and blah blah blah blah and we get to the Carol story.   Who may or may not have been a perfectly lovely angel, but the point is Tim would have had to be wrong but not meaning to be wrong.   But Eggy knows of course.   And blah blah blah to a final point of that could people can be abusive while thinking they are doing a good thing....  (um, if they are and they are good, they have apologized once they realized this, and not taken this as their excuse as to having not done anything wrong at all).   Doing the "right" thing and being abusive are not compatible.   Sorry, not going to excuse eggy nor should anyone else excuse eggy's behavior for this lame "excuse".   Its taken her many many years to think this one up, she should have done better.

Part 6 March 29th 2013:  From part five, what if she was her friend Tim that was clearly wrong (and why wouldn't eggy be sure about it one way or the other) about the other friend Carol.   Sometimes we are all Tim, though she does not know why we would be Tim.  "People" have likewise be "wrong" about her and that makes her both pained and irritated.  But in the end, she magnanimously accepts other people's right to be wrong, and perhaps not even know they are wrong.  Guess that is probably someone like me.  I wouldn't bother to list all the things that I have been "wrong" about that have been acknowledged AND are out there in black and white.   Where she was being abusive but "thought she was doing the right thing"---give me a fucking break.    Seriously, she bore birthed and brought me up, did they tell her I was retarded?

So you get the point of her series right?   I'm off to see the caterpillar and smoke whatever comes out of his pipe.   My advice is this.   When you are wrong, step up, apologize, immediately.   Don't wait years and then try to come up with excuses in a series of senseless blog posts.   I am not assuming she is posting for my benefit by the way, I just wonder how many other people know her who she thinks are idiots that would believe this claptrap (be they Carol, Tim, Janice, Bob or the Jabberwocky).   That is the wrong way to say it, who she thinks are to stupid to see through to what she really is.   Yeah, I definately look at her through a dark film, as I have experienced her first hand once upon a time.

 I have dealt with being wrong right away in the moment it happened.   There is no excuse for not owning up to what one has done or taking ownership for it.   You can't disguise it as having abused someone while thinking you were doing the right thing, as everyone knows it's bullshit.   The only one someone who thinks like that is fooling is MAYBE themselves.  The very sad thing is that they (self absorbed, the selfish, narcissists) are really trying to fool their victims.   They think all these words will hypnotize their intended victim into a stupid state of unconsciousness.  

I don't think all the parts to this newest (senseless) series is over by a long shot either.   Perhaps I am wrong, and I will own it if I am, but she seems to be doing a very dysfunctional dance trying to exonerate herself for something.  Abuse, being wrong, I don't know.   I don't care.   Maybe I am wrong about my opinions about her, but I have earned those opinions and would have to ignore so many actual actions and writings to dispute my theories about her----and that would make me an idiot.   I don't like her or trust her to want to be an idiot for her.   Been there, done that, it's over.

Anyone want to take any bets on how many more parts there are to go?   I am going to say there will be eight parts by the time she is finished.

Family Estrangement Blogs

For myself, I know a lot of healing has been going on.   For the bloggers that I have followed, I think the same has been happening for some of them.   Hence I assume this to be the reason for the decrease in their blogging.

I did want to start searching for some new bloggers just, perhaps, beginning to dip their toes into their feelings on their dysfunctional families.   Some of these blogs I am finding, do not specifically deal with this topic as the premise for their whole blog.   I found at least two very compelling items today to share though:

A Letter I Won't Send My Father

The E-Mail I Did Send to My Estranged Father

I do not have the same circumstances, but could definitely identify with the emotions and conflicting feelings and thoughts.

I found some more articles (but not individual blogs) on family estrangement topics:

Advice on moving from estrangement to reconciliation

Facebook and Family Estrangement

10 Points to Consider Before Reconciling

We don't have to agree on everything

The actual personal blogs were harder to find.   I had to find them by going to older family estrangement blogs, and figuring out who they followed and who was still posting.   This led to these:

The Elephant in The Room

Narcissists are attention whores

What narcs hate the most

I hope everyone is well, and enjoys these articles.   It used to be easier to discover these posts.   I guess the Internet is clogged up with all sorts of information and blogs these days.   Remember, you are not alone in your experiences.   At least there are similar ones out there, and some people that can provide you some information and insight on handling it.