Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Six posts over three years to say you are wrong? Or that everyone else is wrong?

There has been an elephant that I have been trying to ignore, but have become fascinated by it.  My egg donor has been writing a now six part series on "being wrong".   I have no idea what the point is to any of these posts.

You would think I might have some insight into this, but even looking at these seems akin to falling down the rabbit hole that is my egg donor's rational in the worlds of things too big and too small (and way off kilter).   It's been a couple of years since I have specifically brought up either of my donors as a topic, but I am just too fascinated.   It's sort of like seeing something disturbing (like the injury to the basketball player in the news) and yet need to look to be sure it's okay.   When you look though, there is no way this is okay (or sane).  My mother wrote a similar odyssey of her martyrdom, sacrifice, and the harsh cruel world that forced it's indignities on her in parts I, II, III, and of course IV.  I have linked my thoughts as this series went on here.

Now to be followed by the six, yes six, and lengthy part series on "being wrong".   I had done some posts on her previous four part series, as I was confused as to the purpose of these postings.   You know this was not new to me, except for one disturbing piece of information.  I had after all, been the accident that began the whole story, and lived in the house as the "events" unfolded while living in the donors self involved dramas as the bit part pawn.   Course I shouldn't be surprised that the egg donor might have forgotten that I was there at all!

So now we this most recent series that I will try to summarize the message of (though I am thoroughly confused as I read them, and wonder if some sort of small stroke might have occurred or dementia):

Part 1 May 30, 2011  Entitled "Being wrong the book the experience" Here we find that she finds her friends are wrong about Bob and Janice (see part 4).   So she is first not liking them, but then finds her friends are wrong, and likes them.   So here is where she is wrong, but then wait for it...Part 4 nix that, she was right all long!   In each she is the hero or the victim.   Heroically she reverses her sheep like reaction, and overcomes her wrong friends.   Then she finds she is a victim to her rescues, and her friends were right after all.   Meaning ultimately, she was always right, always doing the right thing.

Part 2 June 14, 2011 Entitled "More on the subject of being wrong"talks about deception on the Bachelorette?  Um, er, okay.   This is reality.

Part 3 October 2, 2012    Entitled "When you are just plain wrong"   Talks about how she was wrong on her assumption of Hugo (you might think one would notice a trend in themselves by now...ASS umptions based on nothing more than the marbles rolling around in her skull)  

Part 4 October 4, 2012  Entitled "How is it that we choose the wrong answer?" Now it is Bob and Janice, started from an above post.   Now they the very horrible people she first thought they were based on other people's opinions, who she found to be wrong previously (LMAO).  So is that like a double negative, where wait for it, she was right all along.

Part 5 March 28, 2013 (***and I have to note this came after "someone" was reading extensively on my blog after I posted on 3/25) She read a book called Being Wrong.   In it it described an experiment where people would give an incorrect answer (on something that would be obvious) in the presence of other people who gave an incorrect answer (sounding like peer pressure or the sheep response to me)   Other people apparently incorrectly believed they were paralyzed.   So we are all capable of believing anything at all, and thus are always incorrect (you know except possibly one person *her*)  Blah blah blah, and how others treat other strangers on the Internet regarding what side of estrangement they are on, and blah blah blah blah and we get to the Carol story.   Who may or may not have been a perfectly lovely angel, but the point is Tim would have had to be wrong but not meaning to be wrong.   But Eggy knows of course.   And blah blah blah to a final point of that could people can be abusive while thinking they are doing a good thing....  (um, if they are and they are good, they have apologized once they realized this, and not taken this as their excuse as to having not done anything wrong at all).   Doing the "right" thing and being abusive are not compatible.   Sorry, not going to excuse eggy nor should anyone else excuse eggy's behavior for this lame "excuse".   Its taken her many many years to think this one up, she should have done better.

Part 6 March 29th 2013:  From part five, what if she was her friend Tim that was clearly wrong (and why wouldn't eggy be sure about it one way or the other) about the other friend Carol.   Sometimes we are all Tim, though she does not know why we would be Tim.  "People" have likewise be "wrong" about her and that makes her both pained and irritated.  But in the end, she magnanimously accepts other people's right to be wrong, and perhaps not even know they are wrong.  Guess that is probably someone like me.  I wouldn't bother to list all the things that I have been "wrong" about that have been acknowledged AND are out there in black and white.   Where she was being abusive but "thought she was doing the right thing"---give me a fucking break.    Seriously, she bore birthed and brought me up, did they tell her I was retarded?

So you get the point of her series right?   I'm off to see the caterpillar and smoke whatever comes out of his pipe.   My advice is this.   When you are wrong, step up, apologize, immediately.   Don't wait years and then try to come up with excuses in a series of senseless blog posts.   I am not assuming she is posting for my benefit by the way, I just wonder how many other people know her who she thinks are idiots that would believe this claptrap (be they Carol, Tim, Janice, Bob or the Jabberwocky).   That is the wrong way to say it, who she thinks are to stupid to see through to what she really is.   Yeah, I definately look at her through a dark film, as I have experienced her first hand once upon a time.

 I have dealt with being wrong right away in the moment it happened.   There is no excuse for not owning up to what one has done or taking ownership for it.   You can't disguise it as having abused someone while thinking you were doing the right thing, as everyone knows it's bullshit.   The only one someone who thinks like that is fooling is MAYBE themselves.  The very sad thing is that they (self absorbed, the selfish, narcissists) are really trying to fool their victims.   They think all these words will hypnotize their intended victim into a stupid state of unconsciousness.  

I don't think all the parts to this newest (senseless) series is over by a long shot either.   Perhaps I am wrong, and I will own it if I am, but she seems to be doing a very dysfunctional dance trying to exonerate herself for something.  Abuse, being wrong, I don't know.   I don't care.   Maybe I am wrong about my opinions about her, but I have earned those opinions and would have to ignore so many actual actions and writings to dispute my theories about her----and that would make me an idiot.   I don't like her or trust her to want to be an idiot for her.   Been there, done that, it's over.

Anyone want to take any bets on how many more parts there are to go?   I am going to say there will be eight parts by the time she is finished.


Elena K said...

Hi Winterskiproncess,

I read the posts you linked to and couldn't help but notice your mother writes like a very young girl who has a poor understanding of her subject, not able to think critically about it. The child-like nature of the writing was so evident you probably don't have to worry about many people being persuaded by her words.

It was interesting to see, because my own mother writes in a similar way, like someone 12 or 13 years old.

Winterskiprincess said...

That is an interesting observation. I have no children so I would be unfamiliar with what you may have picked up on.

I assumed the poor wording and arguments were maybe a subconscious way of knowing she was wrong, while trying to prove how right she was all along.

It is interesting that you picked that age group. This is the age that a lot of parents have trouble with their children, because they are very self absorbed with the big changes physically and mentally going on within themselves.

One word for my mother's personality? Selfish Two words? self absorbed

mulderfan said...

There'll be as many parts as the self-absorbed bitch conjures up! Personally, I find it impossible to read more than a few lines off her disjointed rambles.

Winterskiprincess said...

What really sort of scares me is that when you look at her series one, and then her series two...

Her ability to lay out her thoughts in any sort of logical or meaningful way has diminished, which isn't the really frightening part. She is sounding more and more like her mother, who was eventually taken to the state hospital (not under her will) to live out her remaining days.

I unfortunately, own the same DNA as her. Scares me to death that someday I could resemble that. Course I know that is not true, as I am in a much different place than she was at this age. My life IMHO has gone in a much more successful (and I am not talking about money at all) direction than where hers has meandered. I am happy, I am at peace with my decisions, I am at peace with my closest relationships (we may share this in common), and I feel that I have been in control of my life and my decisions all along.

Yes, I have my struggles with communication and relationships, but I have been aware and working on it all along. I think I have my head around it (or I am in fact insane and typing jibberish from my own padded room). In which case, insansity is not all that bad:)

mulderfan said...

Growing up I was always told I inherited a gene from my precious aunt, who suffered from mental health issues. Recently my cousin's wife asked, "Maybe they were referring to the gene that makes you a nice person?"

Your mother's thought process appears to degenerate as she becomes more and more self-absorbed. I'm not sure that qualifies as a genetic defect. IMO Whatever ails your mother must have skipped a generation because you don't resemble her in any way!

BTW My NFOO believes the fact that I kiss my dogs is proof I belong in a padded room. I'm guessing that means you and I could become roomies!

Tundra Woman said...

How is it the EPs are always so concerned with being "PERFECT?" HUH? None of the ACs I've come across were estranged because the parent wasn't "PERFECT." But! I could be "wrong."
Here's the deal: We are born hard-wired to bond with our primary care-givers, aka, "Parents." That's science, OK? Factual stuff. It takes concerted effort over YEARS to destroy that bond, to destroy the love a child feels for their parent. Many women become mothers at a very young age and are not estranged from their AC. This is not about "Shit Happens" a la a natural disaster like Katrina. (<Face/Palm-She's gotta be kidding here.) So, let's get this analogy-fatally flawed as it is-"right." Reality: It's like growing up with a PARENTAL-made Katrina on a daily basis. With *no* "Advance Warning." Or Storm Shelters. It is a life-long PATTERN of behavior that destroys the most primal, fundamental bond a human experiences. For that, Ginny/eggy is absolutely responsible. She was suppose to be the mother, the adult, the grown-up. And all the self-serving excuses in the world won't change that reality.
No more transparent an example of her editorial skills, re-writing history, delusional, self-serving and just plain lack of fundamental ethics is her "Ode to My Personal Integrity/Honesty." Her "confession" of having carried on an affair from '81-'85 ensuring a Soft-Landing subsequent to her well-planned/timed divorce was de facto her lining up her next victim to "save" her from this cold, cruel world. Such a damsel in distress! Ooohhh, how she has "suffered!" First we have the "Immaculate Conception." Next, we have Martyrdom followed by Sainthood. Fade camera as the orchestra violins crescendo, roll credits.
Walk of Parental Shame Red Carpet Time: Someone please confer upon Ginny the Aspirational Queen Crown, the one that coordinates with her Ass Crown. Equally as faux, equally as odious: The Queen is STILL wearing no clothes but still insists on Mooning her flabby, old posterior. Norma Desmond resurrected.
Not an attractive sight-or site.

Winterskiprincess said...

Amen:) Thanks for that, and you gave me a chuckle or two!

Winterskiprincess said...

TW by the way, I think you cut right to the message that I did not get. All this to say she was not perfect, and it's okay not to be perfect. Well, duh!

And you are right, THAT was never the problem... Man, I have done tons of things wrong, but I also faced them head on, learned, apologized if needed, and bettered myself from the experience (hopefully).

While a narcissist says "okay I steam rolled over you (backed up and rolled over you again), bad shit happens. Plus I don't respect who you are anyway. Now I what else do you need to do for ME!"

Winterskiprincess said...


The above is a lovely post about loving the imperfect.

By the way, I should amend what I said above for a narcissist as that is more of a sociopath quote. Instead of "Now what else do you need to do for ME!" It should be "Now what else to you need to do for Me to mirror back appropriately how very highly I think of myself" Narcissists need a mirror held up, so what they want to see is shown to them through someone else.

A sociopath does just use people to get what they want. They really don't care what is mirrored back at them, as long as they get the end result.

Tundra Woman said...

Yeah. A car jacker isn't too interested in being mirrored-or caught. Neither is a Narc: Their attempts to cover their crap is so crazy it's epically revealing to their internal "world."
I just kinda think of them all as "Walking Cluster Bs" because there's so much over-lap among the four in that cata-"gory."

Jonsi said...

Hmm. So she wants nothing to do with you and has NOT read your post here, but she's attempting to communicate AT you directly on her blog as a way to show you who's boss.

Her scolding and wrist slapping is not unlike Caliban's sister's with Upsi a few months back. And I, for one, don't believe her bullshit.

Jonsi said...

And TW has pointed out to me on more than one occasion that it's a good idea to think critically about bloggers and moderators who don't allow comments - a'la Holier Than Thou Ginny. She scolds you but then leaves no room for comment? And we're really expected to believe that she hasn't read your blog posts, or isn't sending someone else to read your blog posts?

Fucking bologna.

Winterskiprincess said...


I just read something on the above post that I thought was very interesting on her article.

She asked something like "do you really miss them? or do you just want them to know they are wrong for breaking ties with you?" Not a direct quote, but to me a correct analysis of Eggy's motiviations!

And truthfully, I probably should not have commented on it or even looked at her blog. Something snapped when I saw part six though LOL. I had to ask, what is the point in all these drawn out postings?

And I guess the other thing is, that last time she posted about me, she tried to say I was cyber stealing from her on ebay. So I like to know what she is up to, as I don't want any ficticious problems popping up for me. And that time, I let her know how she could contact the local police OR the FBI if she was really concerned about someone stealing from her. But that was a couple of years ago, but I can't help but keep tabs and let her know that I keep tabs. That is why I don
t hide my IP address (which she could just as easily not look into) and she knows the reason why that is:)

She is just trying to shame me into not looking, so she can again make up stories about me or post things she finds out by snooping. So it's pretty funny when she says mind your own business, because I mind mine. As that is absolutely not true.

I guess it is that I don't like bullies (of which she is one) that keeps me keeping tabs on her. Not often now, but I have an e-mail notice whenever she posts that comes to me, so I can review the content.

Winterskiprincess said...

Eggy has not allowed comments on her blog for years not even to moderate them LOL. She is a weak person.

I do moderate, but mostly for spam and so I can see if anyone made a comment on an old post (otherwise I would never find it, and it might be interesting).

Winterskiprincess said...

BTW TW, I joke to my husband all the time that he is married to the second (or first depending on your religion) coming of Christ LOLOL.

I mean I was an immaculate conception. The history channel said there are clues that Mary and Jesus may have been estranged.

Tundra Woman said...

All this alleged "concern" is transparently about being "RIGHT." Which in their mind is analogous to "Winning." Sound familiar?! It's never about restoration/reconciliation of the relationship and that's a huge "tell" in my mind about what's on the other end of the estrangement: A Walking Cluster B "Parent" whose just gotta be "Right/Win."
If they put as much effort into raising their kids as they do into denigrating/stalking etc. post NC, the NC would never have occurred. They push you to the edge of the precipice and when you finally "jump" they're absolutely certain they had nothing to do with it and here's why-BLAA/BLAA/BLAA-they may not have been "Perfect" etc.
Let the retribution begin, which absolutely and consistently demonstrates to the AC their decision was not only the only option left but the best decision they could have made: Nothin' like "continuous confirmation" of the AC's decision. Every *last* bit-'o-BS Psychobitch doled out post NC just reinforced my decision, illuminated the reality she was even more, ahhh, "disturbed" than I even realized and minimally kept me from EVER revisiting that NC decision.
Starting with, "How can I miss you/re-evaluate my decision if you won't go away AND keep reinforcing it?" Such classic maneuvers from the bunch of EPs reveal their true motivations and speak to their well-entrenched Cluster B Cluster-fuck-ery a la their ass-backwards responses: If you've dug yourself into a hole, the first step is STOP DIGGING. But they just keep digging until the walls collapse on them, still convinced they're "RIGHT."