Friday, May 15, 2009

Dear Time Warner Cable

Dear Time Warner Cable/Roadrunner,

I have worked with you on your monopoly our relationship during absurd fees for services, and not even being aware of what exactly you are withholding in your lump sum I am paying for. I have gone insane trying to figure out why my computer won't connect to the internet, only to find it it's something going on with TimeWarner cable’s service being down.

I have resigned myself that a special wiring is needed in order to not have wireless computer connections, which work right sporadically at best all over the house. We weathered the storm when we found out that TIME WARNER fraudulently intentionally configured THEIR ROUTER (which we were required to rent) not to reach our whole house (as others were sharing a wireless connection).

However, this last Saturday when you assholes rearranged my channels, and changed them to ones that my programs were no longer available on.....especially Harper's Island. I won’t even rant about mention the debacle.

Let's just say, I've been re-evaluating your worth to our relationship and me thus far. Dumb
I can get on the computer connection that I already pay for. I can even get it in High Def, if that was a priority to me. I now cannot get certain programs available to me on my computer on your service AT ALL. I'm just saying a simple wire from my computer to large television screen gets me all the same programming. A 17.00 per month fee to Netflix gets me about 40 movies a month, and some of these can go through a box direct to my television making it at least twice the amount of movies!! If I rent from you, I am paying 4.00 for any
decent movie per piece!!

So I am paying 40.00 for online service, 40.00 for digital telephone mail (which apparently can also be worked through my computer instead for much less), 40.00 for box rentals, and 50.00 for cable. You see my dilemma, right? I could be paying 40.00 for online, less than 10.00 for digital telephone through my computer, 0.00 for box rentals, and
nothing for cable.

I am sorry for the abrupt "Dear John" letter, but this just is not working out for me.


Jane Doe

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Lessons from Other Mothers In My Life

Although I am going to TRY for a humorous blog here, this one is of a more nostalgic nature. These are valuable lessons that I have learned from Other Mothers in my life.

1. Be quick to apologize if you are wrong.
2. Be there in the present, enjoy the moment with the ones that you love.
3. Laugh often and with feeling.
4. Don't let anything or anyone hold you back.
5. Talk, really talk.
6. Do not assume one is sitting in judgement on you. They may be simply interested in your life and interests.
7. It's okay to disagree.
8. Every individual can have their own interests.
9. Have an adventure!
10. There is no such thing as saying I love you too much. (sometimes this may sound more like "you don't call me enough" ET, see it for what it is "I love you and I miss you")
11. Everything is not in your control, sometimes you just need to accept that.
12. The only individual responsible for their actions is that individual.
13. Cherish the friends and family that are truly in your life.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Running Shoes????

Yeah I have been trotting along like an old overweight lady about 3-4 miles or 30 to 45 minutes a day for a little bit now. One of my clients was surprised that I did not have running shoes the other day. Is it so wrong to be wearing these?

Okay, just so you know, I am neither a natural or dumb blonde!!
It's not like I am breaking any speed records or anything.

I am hardly in the market or needing of the best technology in running right now . I am just glad not to be fracturing any bones, and that this old lady is able to do a slow trotting jog for that distance and length of time. My goal is to still be skiing when I am 80.

At the point that I consider a marathon or something, I will take the time to invest in the appropriate equipment, but my slow trot is not far removed from a speed walk right now . Not the time to be looking into camel backs (not camel toe sicko, a camel back is a pack filled with water, dumb ass) et!

The moment my dog starts needing to break into a run beside me, I will go out shopping!!

Sunday, May 03, 2009

You Might Be Twisted If...

This is a PSA for ways to identify whether you are, in fact, off your rocker or not:

1) You put caterpillars in your elementary school teachers shoes.
2) Had races with your childhood friends running around the house naked, as your friends (or you) tried to keep you (or them) out to be caught by the parents?
3) Sometimes eat meals backwards as the mood hits you (dinner, breakfast, lunch).
4) Spent hours thinking of products that could make you a millionaire using dog feces or dog drool.
5) Enjoy blogs posted by people clearly more disturbed than you.
6) You walked away from a high paying and power position to train dogs:)
7) Your idea of a cute man is a chubby Jewish guy with curly hair!
8) All your friends parents worried more about you than their kids when you were in college!
9) You had no interest in driving at age 16, and waited until it was a necessity at age 21.
10) Really enjoyed when your co-workers used to fart into the intercom at work.
11) Are sure of your own identity, and have walked your own path in life.
12) Watch Millionaire Matchmaker for any length of time (or perhaps you are more bored than disturbed, though I don't know)
13) Have a serious obsession with horror movies:)

Friday, May 01, 2009

New Bent to The Blog-31 Days Technically Left

Dear Readers,

I hope you don't mind if I change up my blog to something entirely more interesting AND a much better use of my time. This is going to become my satiric humor writing blog. It seems a more appropriate choice, though by my first goal of burying the donors figuratively, I do have 31 days left.

I know that I have had entirely enough on what either of them would have to say about me. At least one of them keeps their mouth as tightly shut as their wife's pursed disapproving lips . The other continues to show the ways in which they can not only not be trusted not to spread my name all over the place, but telling the truth seems, er, a challenge to them. As well as boundaries, and the understanding that someone they had cheated on in marriage most likely prefers to never hear from them again. I know, hard to figure out why that might be:)

I think I have burnt out on sarcastic things to say about that. However, there is plenty more in life that can be commented on I think, and I hate to bog down other avenues that I have to write with this cappola.

In the meantime, bible thumping Gale or BTG as I will refer to her seems a constant visitor now. Interesting.....

It's Not About You Anymore Folks...

98.149.147.# May 1 2009 1:06:42 am 8 28:15

AND ? (Commercial)
IP Address 24.183.184.# (CHARTER COMMUNICATIONS)
Location Continent : North America
Country : United States (Facts)
State : Massachusetts
City : Worcester
Lat/Long : 42.2647, -71.8089 (Map)

Ah guys aka the donors, you are going to find very little about yourselves here anymore.