Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Synergy Blues/Sell House Sell

Husband's company is busy laying people off, and reorganizing. Oh goody. Didn't win megamillions last night, or powerball last week, so that strategy won't work. Husband seems to be coming out on the good side of the employee complaint to HR. Employee is digging self in deeper and deeper, and has done this sort of thing before. Hopefully, husband's job is safe from this and the layoffs for at least the time being. His bosses seem very much behind him.To make matters worse, our house for sale was supposed to close on the 17th but the buyer pulled out. Now she's back, but I want to nail her to the wall this time. I don't want her wasting our time and money right now. It's on the market for a good deal.Oh well, good to vent my blues, and noone is reading any way. Depressing blog this one.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

May need to change blog name to bad news

I don't know if I can talk about family estrangement anymore. Not interesting me so much, or really bothering me anymore.Sadly though, and unfortunate incident at my husband's work is causing much stress. He was having performance problems with one of his employees, an older woman, which as some people would know falls under two protected classes. She choose to retaliate by filing a human resources complaint against my husband, saying he demeaned her at first. Then HR in all their infinite wisdom, told her to dig up any kind of thing she could find. She didn't find much, but she found an e-mail from another employee that instructed my husband to get it done faster than a prom dress comes off. He had replied and cc'd her because the rest of it had to do with loan closings, and didn't remember that was on there. That is probably the worst she came up with, otherwise she has voluntarily given them the e-mails my husband couldn't find that detailed the problems with her performance. Thank goodness for that, don't think she realizes she just did my husband a big favor.

Still pretty stressful, not sure that my husband isn't going to loose his job over this.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Hopefully Till This Summer Then

I was so upset at some points this year. My father had e-mailed me that he couldn't believe I had "blown it all out of proportion". I thought whatever, and it gave me the incentive to lop off that relationship once and for all. I felt good after it, and I have felt good except for one nightmare where I dreamed my dad was stepping on my face and yanking all my teeth out with a wrench. I might have my posting on that previously. I knew what that dream meant, and once I acknowledged that I won't be missing out on anything, and don't in fact love him anyway, well it started getting a lot easier.

The last blow up with my mom via the internet such as it was, was a great freeing experience for me. Before this, I had imagined her remorseful and contrite. Wanting to apologize and not knowing how. Now I know that my orginal assessment of her as a selfish, manipulative, and controlling woman was right on target.

It's not that I am glad about that, much the contrary. I had a lot of grief when I realized that was the case. However, it has freed me from the guilt I had been carrying for 10 years about my breaking off my relationship with this woman.

Unfortunately, I was a product of people who are not nice, and do not know what love (my definition) is. It's not even that, that I can't live with. I can't live with the continuing abuse. The implication that you are not worthy of my dad, not as good as your step brother just not not not not, just drains on you even if you know it isn't true. You just can't go on for years and years like that. Or if you do, you end up being someone you don't like. My dad's complete acceptance of the abuse doled out by my step mother, is completely unforgivable to me. I shouldn't have let it go 18 years ago, and I am glad I put a stop to it this last October, although I could have never guessed that would be the outcome.