Monday, December 31, 2007
January 2007 "Do you know that friction plus panty elastic can create quite a painful welt in your butt?"
February 2007 "I have been in a such a good mood lately, that it's been kind of a struggle to write about this stuff ."
March 2007 "Convenience stores are manned by clerks who don't understand the "convenience" part of the title. "
April 2007 "Our guests yesterday were delightful. Very good time. I am not usually a baby person, but baby Cole was way cute. Leon was especially enamored of him. "
May 2007 "Dear Daughter,Let's start with most recent events first. I should not only have continued to send you holiday cards (or just sent them at all as I usually don't), and additionally should not have ripped up holiday cards from you as they were not addressed to my wife who has behaved in an irrepairable way towards yourself."
June 2007 "Okay this is pretty cool. Computer screen in tables with advanced grabbing techology to be marketed to hotels and restaurants first."
July 2007 "---I went to the Adult Children of Narcistic parents board, and was shocked to find a discussion on parents who use pets against their children. It so parralled my dad's own post to my blog, and my reply that he neglected and killed off OUR pets rather than take care of them, give them to me, or find them an appropriate home!!"
August 2007 "Soon after my last post, the first of some dog trainer guests came over. I have been attending a dog training school run by Margot Woods. It got a bit busy once visitors came and the school got started, needless to say."
September 2007 "Okay, I agreed to give up wine until Halloween, which will probably continue to fit in nicely with my weight goals. And my husband agreed to give up his vice, which I will mysteriously leave out LOL."
October 2007 "So my father-in-law, as I mentioned, is incredibly lonely after the loss of his wife. It's been almost two years now. One of his sons set him up with an internet contact, probably not envisioning what would happen next. He meant to set him up with someone close by, but confused a town in one state, with the same named town in another state hundreds of miles away."
November 2007 "A constant drip drip of anything will eventually wake me up, I will have to seek it out, and shut it off."
December 2007 "Okay, so I have renewed my vow to conquer my fat, so I won't be whining about it next year. Exercise has been a bit of a challenge since, I once again allowed myself to get out of shape. So I need a little motivation, a little pep, that does not come in a candy wrapper or a wine bottle (calories you know)."
Friday, December 28, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Bhutto's fears came to an end today. Though it seemed destined to happen, a lot of people were pulling for her. We will now never know if she would have made the difference that we were all hoping for.
Rest in peace, Benazir.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Course S and M would have been there in what is reportably a small house. It would have been interesting to watch them squirm all evening or for M to show her true colors. However, that's really not so Christmas like, so it's probably better that we did not go.
So now it's Christmas morning, and I heard my husband go downstairs to start Chrismas breakfast. Normally we have cinnamon rolls, but I don't think he got those yesterday. Or he was goading me when he was talking about waffles et. (not that I don't love my husband's waffles)
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
- Sexual orientation (ie homosexual or heterosexual).
- Race of friends or spouse, if you family is racist.
- Money, as in one owes the other money.
- Inheritance squabbles.
- One family member no longer wants to be controlled by another or "dance to their tune".
- Differences or conflicts in religious beliefs.
- The dramas that happen during a divorce.
- One's spouse is not welcomed in or is not approved of.
- Abandonment of a family member (usually a parent leaving the family).
- Not recognizing children or parents as individual people, but belongings instead.
- Unforgiven memories of physical, verbal, or sexual abuse.
- Strong political opinions that differ.
- Jealousies of status.
***The picture above represents the reason for my split from the monster and S Donor. They felt they had the right to sell MY house. They argued about this during the time my mother in law was dying. I am not putting up with it any more. For two years now since last October, as a matter of fact.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
My cousins were always there, and this was like a built in play group, of which I belonged. Normally, Kaya and I hung out and ran along the house running our hands along the newly washed tile walls. Or sneaking to the stockings to see what we could get away with seeing in there.
Also, the great aunts, uncles, third and second cousins, and friends of my grandparents were always so much fun. I also remember spending New Year's Eve with my grandparents, and we would play bingo with them their friends and siblings until the wee hours. I was always made to feel special there, which was so different than my home life.
Young Adulthood: My parents were newly divorced. There was tension as far as where I would spend Christmas or Thanksgiving. I would fly, which I hated, and later drive 8 hours to see her, where she was mostly interested in.....her. Which was fine actually, but we or I were never allowed to relax and be ourselves, like you can be with people who truly love YOU. It was like being on stage and expected to put on a master performance. The gifts had to be wrapped just right, there had to be the right amount of perfection in the gifts, et.
Christmas with my family became dodging bullets for the latest story my S Donor or Monster relayed about me. Having fifteen minutes of conversation with my father, and then getting presents that the monster obviously picked out for me. Always a sweater or purse in a conservative style. Or perhaps a hat. I was always appreciative, but I have recently realized that I have hung onto these things that are not my style, and are now unwelcome reminders of them. Plus, I hate "Christmas Santa" sweaters. I mean, how many times a year can you wear those?
I would be incredibly grumpy before going there, and my husband always pointed this out to me. I hated it so much, except for seeing my cousins.
Around my mid 30s to recently: At some point, the celebration moved to the monster's house. It always felt like a stage production there, especially if you could see behind the scenes. She wanted to be "the great good woman" instead of the monster she was. The thing is while she put on the "show" she resented every moment of it. However it needed to look perfect, and like we were all one happy family. I played along with this for a very long time. I still enjoyed seeing my cousins, but got increasingly grumpier.
I longed for the days where this was at my grandmother's house. She, by the way, was not allowed to the final Christmas with us, as she might get upset going back to the rest home. Then she was gone. The monster would have never put such a stipulation on her father.
After Estrangement: It's been two years estranged from the S Donor. Last year, I was not at all in the mood for the holidays. Not because of missing going to the family gathering, but I was exhausted after being busy in my business, and still exploring how I felt about the players and the estrangement. I was busy making peace with how I felt. Also my mother in law and my dog Netpune had both died around Christmas. So a whole bunch of negative feelings around the holiday prevailed, although I know it's not the holiday's fault. My Jewish husband decorated for Christmas, and held with the things we normally do on OUR Christmas (ie cinnamon buns for breakfast, and Chinese food for dinner on Christmas Eve and leftovers on Christmas).
This year, I am a bit more into it. I am planning a holiday party for local businesses. I put up the decorations this year. I am feeling it again a bit more, and thankful for my marriage and life as always.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Anyhow, for the benefit of those who sometimes think they may have a problem, here is what I feel when it happens to me. Extreme reluctance to bathe (I am not saying I don't, I am saying getting there and doing that are suddenly a monumental task) Things that I enjoy suddenly spark no excitement or happiness in me. Things that are upsetting will always be upsetting, but this strikes when everything is basically okay. You feel like you are cut off and completely alone. Also without the will to move or do anything productive whatsoever.
I have mentioned that I probably had this at least from Junior High. It's something that I masked easily during those years. However, when you finally really get out of the "funk", there is no mistaking that this is the real you. When you are not the real you, you sorta know it, but don't know how to get there.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Anywho, doing my manic monday anyway:)
Manic Monday for December 17, 2007
What is your idea of a perfect romantic evening?
For one, it follows the perfect romantic day of exploring, or a long hike, or perhaps skiing. It ends at a very comfortable restaurant, with a fire going at this time of the year. The restaurant has excellent food, and an incredible wine list where you can order anything that you want by the glass. And the deserts..... Of course we are all tired from our physical activity, but were able to dress to the nines anyway.
Imagine you had to take part in the winter Olympics. What sport would you do? (Here's a link to the official sports, in case you need help.)
Skiing baby. Or hockey. I had always wanted to play hockey when I was a girl, but my parents made me take figure (yuck) skating instead. Never was there a girl that shouldn't have done anything dance related than me.
What's something that people do in traffic that really bothers you?
Probably yacking on the telephone, instead of paying attention to what is going on.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
As my dogs, whose bathroom is outside, will attest, IT IS SNOWING. Snowing hard as a matter of fact. It's almost hard for my Dobermans to pee and poop above the snow. We will probably have to shovel out an area for them when it slows a bit. Very good boys and girls today though, they sucked it up and got er done.
Yesterday, I was going to suggest a road trip. Looks like that is out for the day. It seemed like such an inspired idea yesterday, and today I can't even remember what it was. Looks like I am going to be cleaning, decorating, and making Christmas cards today. Also a list for the local business "cookie" party that I will be throwing together.
It's been lovely being able to enjoy December with mostly only my dogs in our house. Oh that's right, going to be doing some indoor training with Jackie today.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Spending The Holidays With Those You Enjoy
Family Relations and Their Affects on How You See The Holidays
Actual vs Other Hunger on The Holidays
Like It, Lump It, Or Crump It
Thursday, December 13, 2007
- My weight may have fluxuated, but it's still LESS than it was last year. It's also still going doooowwwwwnnnnnn.
- Annoying the Animal Rights Movement known as Truly Dog Friendly (NOT). This helps further keep them from their goals of putting dog trainers out of business that have ANY experience or knowledge for their train from the bed cookie slinging. (I am not talking about positive trainers here, I am talking about the extremists in my profession).
- Kept our house for one more year, during a very trying time. And it ain't been easy.
- Came close to making the gross sales goal for 2007, and it could still be done if I got one more board and train this year OR a slew of privates.
- Have been proactive in marketing my business. Need to get better but I am trying at least.
- Have come leaps and bounds with Jack this year. He now can do run thrus with me, and has started to finally focus on me instead of what's going on outside the ring (even when we set it up so there IS something going on outside the ring).
- Have gotten another dog and handler interested in obedience (Ally and Brie).
- Managed to rehome a dog after his first home was not able to follow thru on training. Rehomed to a proper and responsible home by the way.
- Did have a 70% increase in gross sales from last year (after COGS-cost of goods sold).
- Did not sell individual lessons this year, but packages and no apologies on exercises needed to be learned.
- Have made professional status with the IACP this year, meaning I will be able to start on my CDT exam for 2008!!
- Continued to flourish and grow despite my familial situation.
- Kept good mileage records this year, and would have been able to furnish myself with a payroll (no matter how meager) from my business.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Now for a yummy meat pie lunch from George's bakery where I used to live in Worcester MA. No matter what you think about Worcester, there are real gems there.
Monday, December 10, 2007
2. In your opinion, what should the Eighth Deadly Sin be?
3. If you were magically transformed into Snow White's Eighth Dwarf, what would your name be? (okay so there is 1) sneezy 2) bashful 3) sleepy 4) grumpy, my husband's name for me 5) dopey 6) Happy 7) Doc)
Hungry!! LOL, especially because I am trying to be good on my diet.
4. If you could add an Eleventh Commandment to the Christian bible, what would it be?
Thou shalt not annoy me
5. If you were to become the sixth Spice Girl, you would call yourself _______ Spice.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Friday, December 07, 2007
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Here is a gift list of thirteen things, that I have thoughtfully put together for you to choose from:
- A pack for Jack when we walk to and from the post office, so he can carry the mail back for me.
- Those silver Old Navy jeans. Okay, they would probably over emphasize my bottom side so....perhaps in a smaller size then, er, I take currently.
- An aquamarine tennis bracelet.(or garnet)
- Hallmark Peanuts Gang Christmas ornaments for this year, and if possible the other years that I missed:(
- Oh, a couple million dollars of course, to ease our mortgage restructure money woes, and make our future money worry free.
- A fully paid ski vacation this year!! With lessons from Jose in Stowe.
- A day at the spa for a facial and massage.
- Cross country ski equipment, and also equipment for Jack to do that with your dog.
- A new fleece jacket for Jack or Leon (old one is a little tight for Leon), and the old fleece will probably fit Jack well now that he's filled out a bit.
- Money for the operation for Leon's knees (only if you can guarantee he comes out of it okay).
- Personal trainer to kick my ass.
- A very luxurious make over for our master bath, with the emphasis on a luxury shower (as we did in our last house).
- Wood flooring for our master bedroom.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
--This led to an upset tummy, and vomit stains to be cleaned out of the carpets periodically (he did this unfound at night while we were sleeping, poor guy).
--While training Jackie, I left the lights on my Nissan during the 45 minute session. Car was dead, and I decided to walk back to the house, not realizing that on this main York road cars not only go fast, it was approaching night, and THERE IS NO SIDEWALK. I am lucky to have a dog that can heel with me closely so as we both didn't get hit.
--Husband FINALLY got around to getting an inspection sticker on his car, and he needed to get tires. Score, there were two used but like new tires that he could buy for 25.00 a piece. Unfortunately, the mechanic forgot to tighten up the lugnuts. Now we have a damaged car with an inspection sticker on it.
--And of course, the incident that started the whole week off.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
- She had pretty long brown hair when she was younger.
- She liked to play softball with friends when I was little. (at least I assume she liked it, later on she had a real hate for sports)
- She is good at baking and cooking.
- Angel food cakes were made for me from scratch on my birthday.
- She started her own antique business at 30 or so.
- She majored in biology in college and got her masters when I was small.
- She enjoyed clothes shopping, especially high end clothes at a Worcester store called David Berwicks (I think).
- Weddings are not among her favorite things.
- Independent "intellectual" films, plays, and dance are the types of entertainment that she enjoys. (or enjoyed, don't forget I haven't talked to her in 10 years)
- She felt trapped in her previous life.
Monday, December 03, 2007
1. What is your most enduring Christmas memory?
My Great Grandmother made all us, great grandchildren, these little bears. I always loved that bear, though I somehow lost it in my adult life.
2. Do you have a favourite piece of Christmas music?
Tansiberia Orchestra Christmas Eve Sarejevo (sp?)
3. Do you stick to the old family traditions?
Absolutely not!!! LOL. I like it to remain spontaneous these days, and totally enjoyable. I felt trapped for so long by our family traditions, that put a mask on our relationship in the family.
4. What makes your mouth water at Christmas time!?
Sugar or gingerbread Christmas cookies.
5. How soon do you put the Christmas tree up and when do you take it down?
This year, I chose to display my ornaments by hanging them around the house not on a tree. The tree thing is kind of a pain. There is always something wrong with the Christmas lights (though I still put those up) especially on the prelit trees. A great idea, but they seldom work.