Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Oh The Difference A Few Days On Celexa Makes

Sometimes I forget the pill, and then think "hey, what if this thing is all in my imagination?" I think because secretly I still feel judged. Judged by who? I don't know. Certaintly not the people that love and care about me.

Anyhow, for the benefit of those who sometimes think they may have a problem, here is what I feel when it happens to me. Extreme reluctance to bathe (I am not saying I don't, I am saying getting there and doing that are suddenly a monumental task) Things that I enjoy suddenly spark no excitement or happiness in me. Things that are upsetting will always be upsetting, but this strikes when everything is basically okay. You feel like you are cut off and completely alone. Also without the will to move or do anything productive whatsoever.

I have mentioned that I probably had this at least from Junior High. It's something that I masked easily during those years. However, when you finally really get out of the "funk", there is no mistaking that this is the real you. When you are not the real you, you sorta know it, but don't know how to get there.

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