Oh, Damn-Formally Titled How Do I Keep This Grin Off My Face!

Out on assignment walking a client's dog today, and in order to use the backroads to get there and back, I have no reasonable alternative other than to pass near the S Donor's house. You know they have a summer home exactly one street over.

Darned it, don't I see a for sale sign either at their house or their neighbor's house. They were there, so I couldn't very well investigate.

Can you say Hoo Fing Ray!!! OMG, this is the best birthday present (it passed but is in this month) ever if I am right!!!! I only hope for their sake, the Monster isn't trying this on her own LOL.

Oh Dammit to hell!! It's the fing neighbor to them's house that is up for sale:( I almost had the best birthday present ever:(

Well, Golleeee, they finally sold their house

Finally from 487 thou to 290 thou, and only taking two and a half years to do it!! Congrats monster, er should I say congrats to the real estate agent that FINALLY needed to handle this for you. Glad you took my advice, seems it took her a much more reasonable time frame.

Can you imagine if I had let this insect represent my property by cowtowing to her entitlement behavior, just cause she was "part of my Donor's life"!!! Wow at 2000.00 per month, just in mortgage payments that would have been 30*2000=60,000 spent. Now you get some of that in the sales price, but only the non-interest portion. Let's say that is about 1/3, so only 40,000 spent on interest while waiting. Not to mention the 3,000 in real estate taxes, maintenance to keep the property up, some utilities need to be paid in the meantime, water, and her Fing commission.

You know a really bad real estate agent is one that has been in the business for YEARS, and still only pumps out four-five properties a year. If you don't want your property sold anytime soon, and someone that is really really bad at their job, feel free to check my Monster's business site. She is available for crashing funerals as well:)

The House is Up for Sale Again

Okay, so the monster has hired a new real estate agent (as opposed to using herself). Must admit, that's probably a pretty good idea. And they are now using someone who is supposed to be quite successful. Really makes me think this real estate agent must not like them too much, as check out the pictures that she chose to use.









And here are the pictures of my old childhood home in it's glory.
























Er, what tricky marketing plan are they using LOL. Did they loose the pictures of the house before or what? Now our house is down to 309,000 while it looks like it is now in the 140,000 category. I have added a new tag to check the progress called "Real Estate Mogul". An apt title for my competent monster who was insisting on being allowed to sell our house. Bwahhahahahahahhahahah!! I think not.

Thursday Thirteen (13) Things That Can Cause Family Estrangement

Here are thirteen things that can cause a rift (or the disagreement as to these topics can cause a rift---usually there are other deeper underlying issues that have come to play):

1. Sexual orientation (ie homosexual or heterosexual).




2. Race of friends or spouse, if you family is racist.




3. Money, as in one owes the other money.




4. Inheritance squabbles.




5. One family member no longer wants to be controlled by another or "dance to their tune".




6. Differences or conflicts in religious beliefs.




7. The dramas that happen during a divorce.




8. One's spouse is not welcomed in or is not approved of.




9. Abandonment of a family member (usually a parent leaving the family).




10. Not recognizing children or parents as individual people, but belongings instead.




11. Unforgiven memories of physical, verbal, or sexual abuse.




12. Strong political opinions that differ.




13. Jealousies of status.

***The picture above represents the reason for my split from the monster and S Donor. They felt they had the right to sell MY house. They argued about this during the time my mother in law was dying. I am not putting up with it any more. For two years now since last October, as a matter of fact.

Trying to Jog the Noggin for Topics on Bloggin

Oh, writers block is coming again for this topic. I don't know whether to be happy, as it means I am getting over it, or sad that I haven't dug deep enough LOL. I don't think there is much else to dig.

They are who they are, and people that are not to be in a relationship with me, frankly. Something that I have had complete control over, by the way.

Probably the more healthy thing for me to do right now, is work on, or consider whether I need to work on things that I consider damaged during my upbringing. Social issues, communication, my not wanting to have telphone conversations with my poor lonely father in law (it's not him per say, I have a dislike of telephone conversations in general----with anyone-----including the husband). I think it's that I feel the pressure of coming up with a topic too much. Probably stemming from the endless conversations that my E Donor tried to have with me, that were all about her, and I would be trying to figure out the best way to get the F off the phone. Also probably due to a job that I loved, but was 90% telephone work in customer service. I haven't been able to stand the ringing of a phone since, even though I did love my job. I don't like talking dog training either on my time off. I have always been good about seperating work from off time.

I am not sure going round and round about how much I dislike these people is healthy anymore. I got a lot of that anger out, although a doll with the face of the monster would be good as an exercise tool for punching. Pretty much, although I have contempt for them, the red hot anger at their callousness is over. Well, at the moment anyway, you know how that goes. A siting, or news could trigger a response all over again.

I do still enjoy the"difficulty" that the real estate tycoon (ie the monster) is having selling HER OWN GODDAMN HOUSE. Though apparently she is going to sell more than her usual four homes this year. She actually had a couple of consecutive months of house sales. So she might get like six this year, after like 15 years of being a "cracker jack" real estate agent. How humiliating, and appropriate:) I do so enjoy that. Plus, as far as computer stuff, she had the wrong area code on her website for years for her direct line (598 instead of 508 LOL) and now her link to her website on realtor.com, she still has as .com instead of her .net. Excellent. Imagine how many other important details she misses in everyday life!!

The best Christmas present this year will be simply if her home is STILL NOT SOLD. I get all warm and tingly just thinking about it.

However, even she is an insignificant piece of my life. I mean, I never did expect much from her, most of my anger comes from giving her a chance for 18 years, where I could have been saying what I wanted to say to her, and not dealing with her bullshit. It was an unfortunate choice on my part, as life is too short for this shit, you know? Especially when the other relationship attached is not worthwhile. The only worthwhile thing that came out of it, was that my grandmother was not upset, and would never know (unless, you know, she can see from beyond) how it would eventually turn out.

Sometimes, you just get these little gifts in life......

I don't consider myself a mean and vengeful person.......except to one, the step monster. Anything, and I mean anything that doesn't go well for her, just puts a little smile on my face.



Look at this HOUSE for rent.

Then....

Look at this HOUSE for sale.

Yup, thems the same house and the house I was unfortunate enough to grow up in as a child. And, er, the house that the monster is selling under her own name now (or renting ) for more than two years. She has by some miracle sold five homes that did not belong to her (but probably to a high school friend or something), one over her annual average of 4 homes sold a year.

This humilation must supercede the humiliation of having your step whatever not allow you to sell their (ie my fucking) house. To be a real estate agent and not even able to figure out how to sell your own house, and have your miserable sales record on the web. That does have to be the ultimate, doesn't it.

Besides that, the turmoil that must be going on in the S Donor and Monster's household. I am ashamed to say, it gives me a happy little glow inside. May they live forever in their misery together.

My Childhood House for Sale

We had an event recently near my home town about an hour and a half away from our house. We road through Worcester MA, tallying up the changes (or non changes) since we have gone. Like that 290 still has heavy construction going on (oh, how I hated that while commuting out of Worcester way back when). The "park" that ended up being a business park (ie a huge business building went in there). What businesses weren't there, who was. Riding by George's bakery, and realizing "shit, we gotta get those meat pies, spinach pies, and syrian bread".

We managed to visit our friend at his house. Another friend was walking his dog, and so we missed seeing him due to the schedule. Spent some time at my husband's dad's house to help him sort through his deceased wife's(my beloved mother in law/husband's beloved mother) pictures and stuff. Tough, as it's still not been two years, and my dad-in-law is still very much grieving and missing his partner. He has met someone long distance, and hopefully that turns into some companionship for him.

During some downtime, my husband pointed the car towards my childhood home. The for sale sign is so huge, that you can probably see it in the next town (nice to use one's real estate connections). And it was interesting to note, that the monster couldn't help herself but put her name on the sign, even though she is not supposed to be the listing RE agent. I'm not sure she realizes, the bigger sign won't sell the house...... Perhaps the talents of an actual real estate agent would though LOL.

Crazy Family Update

My E donor has not posted to any of her blogs for a couple of months now. Not to the estrangement blog, "the ordinary woman blog" nor her art photography blog. Interesting, as she was so into it before I found her out. I saw that a couple of months ago, she found one of my posts about her poem, and the outclick was my e-mail. Thankfully, she did not e-mail me though.

I am very pleased to announce that the house, in which I grew up for so maaannnyy "happy" years, has not yet been sold by the step monster "real estate agent". Quite a crackerjack, she is. Can you imagine, had she been our real estate agent, we would have paid 24 months of 2000.00 (15 yr mortgage) a month mortgage, real estate taxes, utilities PLUS our current big nut of a mortgage!! So that would be 48000.00 of mortgage payments, 6000.00 of re taxes, and a few thousand for utilities. OR, I guess we could rent out to people that we can't oversee from here, who could further damage our property, all so the Monster could "not be humiliated" as she said. Well, I hope that I have done my best to fullfill her nightmare of humilation.

I hope everyday that she is sad or upset, I come to mind. The house actually disappeared from realtor.com for a day, but then reappeared today, so the subscription was probably just up. For a moment I thought the beast had sold something in record time. Hahahahahaha.

Wednesday's Wicked Witch of Real Estate

Congrats to the Monster for selling one house each of these last two months. Previously, she had one a quarter. Her skills must be improving. Perhaps she has gone outside of friends and family.

Robert used to refer clients to her from the mortgage industry. One client he referred to her, she actually had them change mortgage agents for her benefit from him!!! The next one, she complained to my husband how difficult this woman was at a globe trotters event, at holiday dinners, at any opportunity. I must have heard it ten times. I would angrily whisper in my husband's ear as we left, if you EVER refer another person to her, I will NEVER forgive you.

Robert's heart is too big though. Once he gave her his brother's name. Something happened with his job, and so he didn't want to put his house on the market. He let the monster know this. Instead, she campaigned behind his back with his wife. He came home one night with her waiting for him and he said "listen Betty...." I told him if I had a million dollars I would have given it to him for a snapshot of her face. This is how she dealt with people she knew were Robert's family.

Then there was the time we bought our house. First she gave me a hard time about things I wanted fixed, and harranged me. The best was right after my husband was wheeled into his room from colon surgery, there she was with papers for him to sign. Couldn't even wait for the anesthesia to wear off. (and WTF were we thinking, or me as the only one not under the influence, I should have told her to go fly a friggin kite). You could just tell the ONLY reason they were there was for the paperwork. They could have given a shit that my husband just came out of major surgery.

And I think I have written enough about the last incident and final straw.

Notes on Estrangement from Tony/BA

There is an ongoing estrangement first between me & Betty Ann and now between me & Tony as well. This means it is doubtful we will se my side of the family for Thanksgiving or Christmas. So for any of you that feel comfortable, visiting us or calling us during other occasions is recommended.How did this all start? It started by me asking both Betty Ann and my dad to respect my wishes not to use Betty Ann as my real estate agent. Why I even need to do this is beyond me? Why do we all think we are required to use Betty Ann? She doesn't use me or Robert in any business transactions. Well, apparently it was a requirement of our continued relationship.

The reasons that were presented for why we did not want to use Betty Ann? We have a lot of pressure on us right now with Robert's mom dying, his new job as sales manager, my new business, and the purchase of this new house (a happy thing but still pressure filled at this point). We did not want to worry about familial relations coming into play during the sales process of our house. We decided to use a realtor that we could make decisions with quickly or come down hard on if we didn't like what was happening. We would have hesitated on things with Betty Ann, because she was family, and normal people consider the feelings of family.Course, there were reasons we didn't express. When we bought the house in Worcester with Betty Ann, she pressured us on other houses that we did not like. She pressured us on concessions on this house that we did not want to make. She came to Robert's hospital room (the day of his operation to take six inches of intestine out) so he could sign the purchase & sale agreement while he was still under!!!! What a nice caring lovely person she is.Course then there was the real estate transaction with Robert's brother Jeff. Jeff had contacted her, because Robert in a brain fart had given Jeff Betty Ann's number. Jeff found out his job was in jeopardy, and told Betty Ann they were no longer putting the house on the market. Betty Ann went behind Jeff's back to his now ex-wife Theresa, and continued with the deal knowing this. Jeff found out, and ended that whole episode when he found her in his house scheming the whole thing. Nice to know Betty Ann was so thoughtful of family.Any way, needless to express, this simple request of ours was not honored. What happened next to seal the deal? Well, Betty Ann had not said much at the initial conversation. She called back though. She started out defensively asking why I would not use her. I explained again. She asked if we could "try things out". I said no as that would take time we did not have, and we had already decided what route we would take. She then started screaming at me about the horrific events of 18 years past (see below if you are not familiar). I ended the conversation, as I was afraid of what I would say to the attack that I "ruined their marriage 18 years ago" and am in fact "still ruining their marriage". Unable to sway me, and now cut off from discussing this with me, she started on dad. (We were not estranged.....yet). Reasons that she gave for being upset about this during the conversation "humiliation". This is now known as EXCUSE NUMBER ONE. Now note she did not say, I care for you and wanted to help you through this, or I was looking forward to helping you and Robert. Nope, it was the "humiliation" of it that upset her.I had called Tony to give him a head's up (I had also been nice enough to let Tony know before I even had the initial conversation with Betty Ann), he basically blew me off, said he was going to be neutral (which was fine), and then gave EXCUSE NUMBER TWO. That Betty Ann was recently diagnosed with diabetes, so of course it's okay for her to be abusive and unreasonable towards me. Let me just let you know, there is always an excuse from them. Again, not that she cared about us, not that she was looking forward to helping us. Several more nagging conversations between Betty Ann and Tony, apparently convinced him not to be neutral and instead have in-depth conversations about 18 years ago with me. Oh, and about why we weren't using Betty Ann too. Since Betty Ann was no longer allowed to discuss this with me, she took out her favorite puppet, Tony. Wow, must be some marriage that one. So dad calls with the urgent insistence that I let him in my home to rehash the past, which we had talked about then ad nausea, AND of course to talk about the beloved Betty Ann. I said no, talks were called off. I did make it clear Tony could talk to me relating to me & him, just not Betty Ann. This was not acceptable to him. So then Tony left the seemingly oh so thoughtful note, saying he understood that I was upset with HIM, that my points were valid, and that I could make the time place and method of conversation. I chose 4:30 Friday, at a park near me so I wouldn't be trapped in my house with him if he chose a different agenda. Tony was SOOOO concerned about discussing us, that he suggested a rescheduling to the middle of the following week, as he had a dinner date that night, and then plans to go visit Rae and Dick. You know, so it would be more convenient for him, this oh so important conversation. That was it for me. That was the last straw. I have made these same feelings known to Tony in an e-mail.Before I had this conversation with dad, I had called Betty Ann to let her know:

1. she can discuss her feelings with me that I don't need a third party and
2. I didn't appreciate the manipulation of Tony and my relationship for a real estate deal and
3. there was no EXCUSE for her behavior. She ended this conversation with an "FU" (see that's the Betty Ann most of you don't see, but I am fairly familiar with), after she explained her displeasure was that I "didn't try hard enough to use her as my real estate agent".

Was it over then? Oh no, Betty Ann then left not one but five messages for Robert at work!! When Robert called back and asked why she was calling, she said it was because in discussing my reasons for not using her I said "Robert and I" and she wanted to verify. Robert quickly ended this line of conversation, letting her know that she will not be our real estate agent. Then Betty Ann does what she very seldom does. She showed her true self to Robert, by telling him (no actual events or anything just these statements) that I "ruined" and "am ruining" her marriage. She made all sorts of statements, that Robert does not even want to repeat to me, because he was horrified and he was also with me during this period of time and knows from actually being there and witnessing events what the situation was.The bottom line is, in order not to be blamed for their apparently failing marriage (what a surprise with such a loving spouse so concerned about Tony's relationship with his daughter) or to endure the emotional abuse and conversations about events 18 years in the past, which I had forgiven, I have cut off all relations with these people.

What's my problem with Betty Ann Reck Caputo? If my dog is dying, and I don't want to come to Maine, call my dad. After all, it's clearly my responsibility to taxi her father up to Maine at the one time I am having problems in my own life. Not her responsibility, not her sister's responsibility, not Andy's responsibility. No mine. And do you want to know why? It's all about control. Control that she no longer has over me in any form, and it is driving her crazy nuts. Well good. I have tried for 18 years to let bygones be bygones. I have schlepped her father, I have trained her dog for free (even though other appointments she couldn't make or just wasted my time), I have cleaned up after other guests in her Maine home, I have stayed after parties to help her clean up, I have sucked up the feelings I have "for the sake of the family", I have heard her and Andy snicker at my grandmother in Andy's living room because she dropped a crumb or two, I have in fact ignored what an evil bitch she is. I have forgiven that the first day I walked into my father's house to live before I was fully grown, she welcomed me by screaming at me that I was a bitch. And the last day, she came into my bedroom in the dead of night, because dad had offered to do the dishes and I wasn't feeling well & he didn't, and when I stood up she slapped me across the face (I walked out of the house in a night shirt, no other clothes including shoes or socks in a blizzard). I made it clear to my father after that, the condition of a continuing relationship was that I never be put through that again. That condition has been broken. Last year, called Tony's house to wish Tony a happy birthday. I got Betty Ann and chit chatted a bit. I asked where dad was, she said he was at school meetings but she would give him the message. I found out later that they all went out to Chinese dinner that night. It's not really that I wasn't invited, but why would Betty Ann lie to me. What is her problem? Clearly we all know now, she is still blaming me for my dad's first marriage, and that I am a living and breathing reminder of that. Like that is my fault. Apparently I was orchestrating the demise of her marriage for a REALLY long time, like before I was born. You know Ginny and Tony were just so great together, I have been scheming since their divorce to get them back together. Yeah right!! I mean I don't have other things to do, a marriage, a career, a business,......nope just been plotting against Betty Ann. Finally, I had made the mistake of taking care of their dog, DJ, on two separate occasions. I enjoyed taking care of DJ, but it's a mistake because instead of thanking you for that, Betty Ann needs to find ways to make YOU responsible for her dog. First she called me up, and wanted me to take DJ once a week. I said no, that's a lot of work, I don't run a kennel, and I do other administrative things at home where I can't be worrying what an untrained puppy is doing in my house. Then she called on Easter and said if I didn't let her dog loose in my house outside of a crate and keep him there with Leon (assuming I am at the Easter celebration) then it's my fault that she can't have Easter at her house. I asked if she would like my training help at that point (being that we still had two weeks to Easter) and she refused repeating the afore mentioned again. Now what do you think I would be treated to if my dogs were shitting and peeing all over her house unencumbered while we were elsewhere? Hmmmmm?

What's my problem with Tony? He has never supported me in anything unless it goes with his plan. Never saw my dad so proud as when I was a controller. Had I been a clerk at a seven eleven, then I would still be daughter non-existent. Do you know how many co-workers of Tony knew the whole family------well except for his daughter? "Daughter, Tony doesn't have a daughter, I know his whole family". It's like I stole his antiques and for my heroine fix. I assure you that never happened. While I was married, Tony told me to be careful with Robert as my beneficiary, because he "might kill me for the money". So he was not supportive of my marriage, which I think everyone can agree is quite solid. (I think he and Betty Ann better watch out themselves). My wedding day was just so much lovelier by the participation of Tony and Ginny making it about them, avoiding each other, and making the awkwardness so noticeable. Neither made any attempt to be a part of the wedding, before after or during, except to "as a wedding gift" pay for half each of the wedding. Robert's mother was the only one in the family to give me a party. She was the only one to congratulate me on my engagement. She was the only one who offered to participate with me in any rituals normal daughters look forward to, and you would think their parents would be living for. Not mine. No way, it was a day about them. Same with my graduation. Same with EVERY EVENT INCLUDING THE HOUSE IN MAINE. Before Neptune died last year, my Nissan's battery went and Robert got in a car accident. We needed to transport Neptune from the local vet to Tufts emergency. I called dad to see if he could help, he said no. Now let me say, while he calls only for favors, this is the only time I have called for a favor since graduation (and I don't think I called for any FAVOR other than for his attendance). When it really counts, he's not there and not only is he not there, he creates more stress and problems that are unnecessary.It was a simple request, please just let us use another realtor, and do not stress us out during this time when we are dealing with the upcoming death of someone who truly does love and care for us. Neither one of them could comply, they are both now out of my life. This is bound to make most of you extremely uncomfortable. For that I am sorry, but I need to start sticking up for myself and no longer be a doormat for people that don't even care about me. Oh, my dad may say he does, but his actions speak volumes. It's like when serial killers say they love their victims, whose heads can be found in their kitchen freezer. Is that what you would call love? Not me. Recent and past actions on his part have been unacceptable, and in the face of this most recent development, it is clear to me that any energy (beyond this indignity to Betty Ann and dad) is not worth my effort.

Yeah, I know Tony and Betty Ann are going to be horrified by this. And I will enjoy that immensely, whether people agree with this or not. I do need vengeance after my 18 years of hard work being there for them and getting nothing. One darned favor couldn't be done for me. Business must be pretty bad for Betty Ann. Actually, I am sure it's just been the lack of control over me lately that made her peep her little demon head out, and finally show herself for who we always knew she was.