Those Little Things You Haven't Cleaned Yet

Two days ago, a Yahoo reminder popped up to remind me of Spermy's birthday.   It's been 5-6 years since we have talked (I believe since 2005) or e-mailed.  Last time Spermy made his oh so public comments on my blog were in May of 2007.   Really this estrangement should have started 18 or more years before 2005, but I had drunk the Koolaide laced with "keep your family ties no matter what".   I had already committed a sin of not talking to my mother since 1995, and so felt an obligation to have one donor in my life at least.   Such a mistake on my part!  But I was performing and paying back the burden that I was for being born, like an obedient accident.  Or as I think now, a DUMB ASS.

I have no need or want (an indifference really) to be reminded of his birthday.  Big whoopy ding dong day LOL.  It would be like tracking a stranger's birthday, but I have not taken the time to delete these things that no longer interest me off of my calendar.   This includes Eggy's birthday, and I haven't spoken to her since 1995 or 1997, although I have had blog or e-mail discussions with her very infrequently but the last one being November 2010, when Eggy was hinting the person ordering from her online sales (and then not paying) was me!   I am sure she wanted my attention (the reason for this posting), and then enormously regretted what she got (an explanation of libel and the financial implications to her of continuing this--plus the phone numbers to the FBI and police in her area should she wish to actually find the perpetrator).

So I am not seeing any need to be preparing to send out birthday cards, online birthday wishes, phone called birthday wishes or surprise birthday parties for these people.   Way back when I lacked self esteem and was DESPERATE for any support and love from my family, I kept up a family calendar of everyone's dates, addresses, and telephone numbers.  I have not cleaned these items up yet.

I think part of healing and part of getting over the hurt, grief, and anger is letting these things go.  Not allowing these things to infringe or pop up out of nowhere in your life anymore.   I need this head space for far more productive things (and pleasant things) these days.   The donors that have been burdened by me for 18 years while I was growing up, have already had their payments met by myself.   Those obligations are gone now, and I can breathe in easily and enjoy the peace of the day, instead of playing the games of the donors.

Another Great Quote(s)

And other honorable mentions:

I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes.

When I shut my mouth and turn to walk away...

And then some really disturbing posts that I found:

Estrangement An Act Boarding on Evil

Our Son Has Been Served

There is one that I now can't find that basically said that if at least their daughter was dead, the would get to see their grandchildren.   WTF?  Horrifying.  I remember getting a letter from saying "I don't even know if I am a great grandmother yet."  No interest in me or anything, just in anything that may have sprung from me.   I didn't have any children, but in any case if I had answered the answer would have been "no you are not a great grandmother".

Just a hint, if you are trying to reconcile with someone, you might want to show an interest in the PERSON you are pretending to want to trying to reconcile with, rather than showing them your true and insane agenda.  Get close to my kids, um, yeah no I don't think they need any phone calls where you describe how you are trying to kill yourself.   Thanks, but er,no thanks.  Luckily it was never even a problem or consideration.

Blogs from the Outer Web

Dealing With Those "Special" Occaisions that Are Not Yours---this blogger is usually talking about girl/boy advice, but I think you can apply it to many other relationships.

Everyday Stigma--this is about the "stigma" of sexual preference (which as a society we should really grow up about)   however, I think this can be applied to any kind of stigma someone needs to carry with them every day or percieves that they need to carry with them everyday.

Feeling Like The Black Sheep

Sibling Concern

100 Recommended Halloween Movies, Series, and TV

Halloween is my very favorite holiday.   Coincidentally, I am a bit of a nut about horror movies too.   I have actually spent a considerable amount of time amassing a list of movies that I can call upon each Halloween.  

Halloween is serious business, and this is no time to be watching crappy horror movies or sifting through the really bad ones hoping to find a gem.  I need sure things for my holiday month (yeah I said it, month NOT day).  My big escape over the years has been the good horror movie, and that is why I have seen so many of them.   Way more than a hundred, but these are the ones that I deem worthy of recommending based on orginality, a plot I like, a twist ending that I did not see coming, or because they are "quirky".

On the culmination of the month and on the day, I surround myself with all the candy I could want, and dive into a horror movie marathon.   The whole month though, I try and decorate each day and watch a horror movie to honor the holiday.

Here is what I like in a good horror movie, so you might get an idea where my tastes reside:

1. It's never about the gore with me, though there may be gore in horror movies that I like.  I usually do not like the gore, but it's something about the storyline that I like.
2. I typically like a background story, though with some movies the mystery (the original The Fog for instance) does not need to be spelled out so much.  It's a tricky balance.
3. Since I have seen so many, I like an unusual bent or angle to the horror movie.
4. I like when the characters we have come to know live at the end.  In other words, the best happy ending that a horror movie can have.
5. I prefer if no animals are killed (or tortured) in the horror movie (though can not promise that all my picks stick to this).
6. I am not a zombie or werewolf fan, but am more of a Vampire or Serial Killer fan.   Not to say that some of my movies may not have these.
7. It's rare that I like a remake OR a sequel, but it happens:)
8. You may find it hard to believe from my list, but I do not like hardcore violence (ala Last House on The Left or Clock Work Orange---sorry that I ever saw those oringals).
9. If I have seen a documentary on how a low budget horror movie was made (ala Texas Chainsaw Massacre), that may explain my fascination with it later LOL.  I never wanted to watch this movie until I watched the documentary on it.  Knowing what the actors were going through, and this was not made by a bunch of people that necessarily knew how to get a special effect (never mind safely).
10. I love gothic movies with old creepy houses in them.  If I can check out the house in the movie, I am a happy camper.
11. I love horror movies that can also add comedy.   However this is a tricky mix, and some movies try this but fail horribly.  It is the very rare movie that does this well.
12. As in my horror books, I like when  everything looks innocent on the OUTSIDE but INSIDE it is NOT AT ALL.
13. I grew up on "Creature Double Feature" so I like the good horror giant monster, but am more particular about the special effects LOL.

Without further ado, here are my Halloween recommendations for you (in no particular order-next year and to segment to descriptive tags next year):

1. Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? 1962
2. Portrait of Dorian Gray 1945
3. Wicker Man 1973 (the remake 2006 was very good as well)
4. Sixth Sense 1999
5. Invisible Man 1958
6. Diaboliques 1955
7. Silence of the Lambs 1991 (also Thomas Harris book)
8. Hannibal 2001
9. Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte 1964
10. Single White Female 1992
11. Fatal Attraction 1987
12. (Duh) Carrie 1976 (and great Stephen King book)
13. The Ring 2002
14. Poltergeist 1982 (the first one IMHO)
15. Sleepy Hollow 1999
16. Dead Zone 1983 (also great Stephen King book)
17. The Fog 1980 (the original only IMHO)
18. The People Under The Stairs 1981 (funny comedy horror)
19. House of Wax 1953(remake 2005 is campy sort of crap, but I liked the back story that they gave to it, and it had nothing to do with the original Vincent Price House of Wax)
20. Motel Hell 1980 (I don't know how I forgot this one)
21. The Thing 1982 (sci fi horror)
22. It 1990 (Stephen King)
23. Alien 1979 (sci fi horror & great book)
24. Jurassic Park 1993
25. Black Christmas 1974(the orginal, not the remake)
26. The Vanishing 1993
27. The Bad Seed 1956
28. The Good Son 1993
29. Magic 1978
30. Stranger in Our House or Summer of Fear 1978
31. Secret Window 2004 (also great Stephen King book)
32. (OMG) The Baby 1973-Talk about a twist ending!!!!
33. The Invasion of the Body Snatchers 1978
34. She Creature 2001
35. Vacancy 2007
36. Rebecca 1940
37. Let's Scare Jessica to Death-classic [don't want to ruin the surprise] movie 1971.
38. Original Halloween I and II (1978 & 1981), of course. II only thrown in there to continue the story, not as good as one. (I think of one and two as the same movie.)
39.  H20 (1998) , which is Halloween 20 years later.
40. Rob Zombie's Halloween (first one not the second one---second one was too much in line with the actual)
41. The Audition, Japanese Horror Movie 1999. Quite a take on your submissive Japanese woman (NOT!!!!).
42. Godzilla, the remake 1998. A totally American movie doing a fresh new (and sometimes funny) look at Godzilla and how he came to be here. I own this movie, I loved it so much.
43. The whole Subspecies series. The production company that actually did filming in Romania went bankrupt and out of business, but I so loved these. Yet another different and twisted look at vampires. Subspecies came out in 1991, which I thought was the weakest of them and I actually saw it last. Bloodstone, Subspecies II, came out in 1993. Bloodlust, Subspecies III, came out in 1994. And finally the last (boo hoo) came out in 1998 Bloodstorm, Subspecies 4.
44. Red Dragon, of course, because I have read the Thomas Harris books. The film came out very well in 2002, I thought.
45. Blind Beast 1969 is a good Japanese horror film that I recently did a review on. Very, very creepy.
46. The Burbs 1989. Comedy horror at it's best. Tom Hanks plays a neighbor, who is suspicious of the new neighbors in town.
47. The Lost Boys 1987. A vampire movie that I always still enjoy when it's on. I like the plot of the younger brother helping out the older brother. Grandpa gets in on the act as well.
48. Showtime Master of Horror Series. I didn't like them all. The very first one is probably my favorite due to the surprise ending, and just overall creepiness of it. Plus, you are never really sure where you are going......really.
49. Ghost Story 1981, good book and I think good movie. Actually, if I remember correctly, I might have enjoyed the movie more than the book.
50. Intensity 1997 (Dean Koontz book first, loved botht he movie and book)
51. Hideaway 1995 (Dean Koontz book, but changed the story a little bit)
52. Demon Seed 1977 (Dean Koontz book---can you guess one of my favorite authors LOL)
53. Lady in White 1988 - this one might be okay for children, but there is a definate reference to a pedophile---be warned.   Good mystery ghost story that I think was targetted for children as well.
54. Burnt Offerings 1976
55. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer 2006 --Totally Gothic and creepy, not sure how I felt about the ending, but a terrifically creepy movie.
56. Series of about 12 Dark Shadows The Revival (though it doesn't end there, but production was cancelled, so it's a bit frustrating after episode 12)
57. Hostel I 2005 and II 2007. II is even better, but I wouldn't discount I at all!!!
58. Spider Babies 1968
59. Quills 2000  Really, really gothic.  Strong sexual themes and some violence.  Really great adult horror movie though.
60. The Omen 1976 (I HATED the remake) and Damien: Omen II 1978
61. Children of the Damned 1964
62. Psycho 1960
63. The Shining 1980 (not as true to the Stephen King book, but Jack Nicholson's role) 
64. The Shining 1997 (true to the Stephen King book)
65. Jeepers Creepers 2001
66. Jeepers Creepers II 2003
67. Joyride 2001
68. The Other 1972 (also an excellent book, and the movie is pretty true to the book) 
69. King Kong 2005 (one movie where I like the remake much more than all the others before it)
70. Creep 2004
71. Misery 1990 (also great Stephen King book)
72. The Haunting 1963
73. Changeling 1980
74. Sweeney Todd 2007
75. Prom Night 1980
76. Frailty 2001
77. Strangeland 1998
78. American Psycho  2000
79. Cloverfield 2008
80. Day After Tomorrow 2004
81. True Blood Series 2008
82. Dexter Series  2006
83. Reaper TV Show 2007
84. Wolf Creek 2005
85. The Blob (always loved this movie) 1958
86. Godsend  2004
87. Cape Fear (remake with DiNero) 1991
88. Communion or Alice Sweet Alice 1976
89. Rosemary's Baby 1968 
90. Interview with A Vampire 1994
91. House of Wax (Vincent Price) 1953
92. House of Wax (Paris Hilton LOL) 2005  a beginning scene in this really did it for me!
93. The Ring 2002
94. Three Extremes 2004
95. Yoga 2009
96. What Lies Beneath 2000 (I like how the beginning starts, and helps with the twist ending)
97. Scream I, II, & III (and looking forward to IV) 1996 1997 2000
98. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1974
99. Dream Home 2010
100. The Burrowers 2008 ---very creepy old west meets horror