This year is the roughly 30th year that I have not talked to my "mother" and 25 years (more or less) that I have talked to my "father". By "talked," I mean in person or over the phone. I am not talking about any digital conversations that have cropped up on this blog or my "mother's" blog (snickers.typepad.com or estrangements.com). It's been about 9 years since my last post on here or anywhere about estrangement.
People still find and read this blog, which surprised me. I just looked at my blog stats. So many people out there are dealing with this issue in various and unique ways. If this is you, I am sorry you are going through this. I hope this blog and others like it have done someone some good. This is not a club anyone wants to be in. So I hope maybe some of my coping and brain dump helped some person.
I remain convinced that this (estrangement) was the healthiest thing I could do for myself 30 and 25 years ago. It took many years, obviously, to come to terms and peace with estranging myself from my parents. While it was the right thing fo me, that does not make it an easy thing. I still deal with issues of trust, communication, and creating relationships outside of my marriage. I probably always will to some extent. The one accomplishment is that I am at peace with this and have been for many years now.
The other option, just allowing the continued emotional and psychological abuse, was not tenable for me, and I have posted many times in this blog about this. Previously, doing that caused more damage (to myself) than good. I hope if you are in this situation, you have found your way no matter the direction that you went/go in.
This life is hard. Do what is good for you and your future.
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