Thursday Thirteen (13) Things Needed for Family Event

Thirteen things needed for family event:

1. Cleaning
2. Hamburgs
3. Hotdogs
4. Steaks
5. Corn
6. Wine
7. Other liquor
8. Plastic utensils
9. Yard work!!
10. Dessert items
11. Condiments
12. Folding tables
13. Outdoor seating

Looking for places to store pictures

Since Typepad and my initiated seperation, I have been looking for alternate places to store my photo albums to share with friends et. I mean everyone wants to look at my 1000s of pictures of my dogs, right?

So there is myspace, facebook (no idea how to direct this to MY facebook LOL), and flickr that I am toying with. The advantages of myspace and facebook is that if you have friends and family already on there, you can share your photos without sharing everything else. It's just a quick cute little tool for sharing and storing what you are up too, without potentially giving out too much info (TMI).

I find facebook a bit confusing in other areas, but the photo upload is super easy, and you can hold 60 photos in an album. I haven't figured out whether the albums are limited or not!! Flickr seems easy to use to, need to look into it more. Myspace allows you to make slideshows, but the whole thing is slightly confusing.

Anyhow, that's what my geek techy side has been doing lately.

And you know those great photos that come up on your screen saver, but you actually can never find. I found that the Windows Media Player allows you to pull up all photos WITH the dates they were downloaded. It's been easier for me than doing a computer search and everything is just sort of jumbled together.

New Blog Horror Heaven

http://horrorheaven.blogspot.com/

The above is my new blog where I am consolidating all my horror movie reviews and recomendations (or not!!!).

Family Rifts Board-Re Boundaries

This is a response to another member whose parents do not acknowledge that they understand what Boundaries are:

You know my dad tried that on me too. "I don't understand what you mean". So I laid it out over and over until I got the following response "I am not stupid, of course I understand what you are saying".

It was important to me that both my parents could not claim "they were not told" or "they did not understand". I guarantee they both understood from the get go, but it's a common "matyred me" ploy. Once they can't say they don't get it anymore without looking like an idiot, then (for me anyway) I was on my way to freedom and closure.

That, and I just did not accept any excuses anymore. ME: "The monster told me to FO when I said she wasn't going to sell my house"DAD: "She was just diagnosed with diabetes and is upset." ME: "I don't accept that as an excuse from her, or a reason to talk to you more on it." DAD: speechless, as there is no argument for that.

I drew my line in the sand with 1600 foot high concrete wall that went divided us across the world and 1600 foot into the earth until or unless he could respect me. That doesn't happen, oh well. It'snot my loss by any means. In fact, I hope he never claims he can, so I just don't need to deal with him. He is just not a nice person.It's easier to forgive things if you have ever felt loved. I never have or at least since third grade when I started to formulate my own opinions.

I often wonder was it just that I wasn't a boy OR that h ejust didn't want children (but he accepts my stepbrother easily enough no matter what he does) OR he just hates females OR he just
hates me. It's an unanswerable question, and no matter what the answer is, there is just one bottom line there.

And you know what,it's not my problem!!! It's his.My boundaries are my boundaries, whether he understands them or not,that is HIS problem, NOT mine.

Family Rifts Posting-Goals Regarding Estrangement

In answer to another board member's posting, these were my answers to her questions regarding goals:

I have not "somewhat connected" with three members of my family, my father, my mother, and my stepmother. By default of my mother, I guess my step father, but I think it's that we both don't want to third party the other. We never would have just talked on the phone before anyway. I have nothing against him, is what I guess I am trying to say.

What are your goals regarding the Family Rift?

To go on with a fruitful, productive and mostly happy life. To feelgood that the decisions I made were based on some not easy but fairenough decisions.

What did/do you need to heal?

Well apologies and acknowledgements would be just lovely. Respectof my boundaries.

But that ain't gonna happen!! So accepting that it is what it is,and nothing I am going to do is going to change that. Including submitting to their wishes and wills.

Do you hope to establish reconnection?

AT this point, I hope they stay far far away, quite frankly. If at some distant point in time something changed drastically, and I do mean drastically, I would try and entertain the idea with an open mind.

to what degree?

If a drastic change happened, I imagine it would still be a very limited and superficial degree for my own sanity. It's hard to wrap my mind around something or someone changing so drastically.

Why and How?

I can't even begin to imagine why or how this would come about.This is beyond my very vivid imagination.

Or do you only hope to make sense of your estrangement, remaining disconnected, and why/how?

I think I have made sense of my estrangement. My dad hates females,and never wanted a kid. Mystery sort of solved. My step mother for some reason thought I was the equivalent of my mother, who my dad was glad to be rid of, but still treated me like the mistress living in her house. Mystery solved there as well. My mom felt entitledto things that I could not give her materially or emotionally as payment for having me in the first place. Again, mystery solved.Now years and events happened during a period of (I am counting afterI left the house) of 10 years with my mother's estrangement and a good 18 or more years with my father/step mother estrangement. All of this emotional and verbal abuse finally became clear to me as something I did not need to allow or deal with. I have given them options, made consessions, and the same has not been done for me because I am their "property/child".Many days writing and analyzing my feelings are the how. Even conversations with the parents since even if they happened via e-mailor on my blog. They really made things very crystal clear for me.

Finally Figured Out Box.net As You Can See

It's a bit slow in downloading the files, and the computer I am at allows me to edit more, et. Since it's free and cool, I will try not to complain too much, however .

Some day this will all cost money, sigh. I hope they at least consolidate storage companies (pictures, videos, music) so you aren't paying for each service. In the meantime, love these people that allow us to borrow their technology and storage space.

And I do hope it profits them at some point, but just don't want to pay more than I already do for technology LOL.