Monday, February 11, 2008

Talking To The Poop, Something Occurs to Me

I hate hate calling on the phone. This is probably largely due to one of my first favorite jobs, which I loved, but I was customer service and so all I wanted to do at the end of the day was NOT answer the phone LOL. It was just so busy, and you are being so calm and nice all day long. Something needs to fall out later on. So I grew to hate the phone.

My father in law, aka the Poop (affectionate term his kids have called him for forever), is not only not computer literate, but any kind of electronic gadget literate. Except the phone, of course. So I have to screw myself up to actually call and have a conversation. He's wicked easy to talk to and a very nice and loving guy. He can talk about my dogs and dogs I see all day long. He LOVES dogs. He also likes to talk business.

So yesterday, he is asking all the business questions, and I am holding myself back from being annoyed for some reason. I know these discussions (no matter who) have always annoyed me. I also know it's because on some level, instead of interpretting it correctly as expressing interest in what I do, I am bracing myself for judgement.

It occurred to me, after I got off the phone, that the reason for this was that my parents always talked to me in judgement, and just about never in interest. So I brace myself still, even when talking with people I trust and know are interested and love me, for the judgement. I wish I had realized this YEARS ago when I used to get so annoyed with my mother in law for bringing up my job or business. She didn't understand then, I am sure. She did always love and accept me, however, and I miss her very much. As does the Poop and her children and grandchildren.

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