Friday, March 24, 2006

On Being Nice and Anger

The last few ugly posts of mine have been all about feeling anger in the moment. That rage you feel when someone is going after you. In my case, about something 10 years ago that is still being argued today. I apologize if my recent posts are hard to look at, they are hard for me to look at, but they do represent the rage I was feeling at the time. I did never send my mother e-mails before this that "degenerated her", but her letting me know that upset her (told her to go to hell once 10 years ago, and it was like the worst thing I could have possibly said----she never did know me too well) was my escape hatch out this last week.

I have been nice in the past, e-mailed reasonably, stated my feelins, and told my mother our relationship was at an end. It still continued, I think now it's over.In the corporate world, I always found "nice" didn't get you much of anywhere except abused and taken advantage of. Being aggressive got you where you needed to be if nice didn't work. I am nice. My employees appreciated the nice treatment they got from me, souveneirs, personalized Christmas cards, and little Holiday tokens that were left on their desk. That actually never backfired on me.

Nice to authority figures though by putting in that unreasonable extra time without complaint, doing them that favor et et did not pay back in spades, except that you were expected to work longer hours, and do more. As more and more of your life was drained away, more and more was expected from you.

Certaintly a correlation can be made between me and my parents. Time to drop the nice, and deliver the nasty. It works sometimes, although that is not how you want to be or want people to see you. If it gets the results though, and saves your sanity, it may be necessary at times.Now on to bigger and better things. Don't even think I can get excitable talking about the estrangement with my father. Certaintly something that annoys me will come up this summer when he is living here.

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