- It's a public forum, and I want you to know that I can see it. Also, I probably want you to know what I must have felt like when I found you not only watching my site but actually posting and reporting on parts of my site. It doesn't feel good, does it? I guess I was waiting for an acknowledgement of that you might now understand why it was bothersome to me by acknowledging your own feelings.
- I guess I am also interested in what point you will stop arguing with me or the ghost of me in either written format or cartoons.
- And also, I want to see what stories or misconceptions that you might post up on your website so I can reinform you, whether you post them or not (the explanations).
- And just so you know, I use this e-mail because it has no personal info about me on it, I am aware this is not my regular e-mail. I don't need you to ferret out any more than you already have about my personal life.
- On the public blog, you are part of my story, when I talk about myself to other people and why I estranged myself, the story doesn't change just because you don't wish to see it there. I am not talking to you, but to someone about my experiences, of which this is a part. I am going through an estrangment with my father, and sometimes the estrangement with you gets brought up, or I am talking to another mom estranged from their daughter. You claim to do the same thing on your blog, although to me it seems more personally directed at me. So I would think you would be able to understand that, as you had four or five years of doing it.
- As far as you comparing my postings about my step on my webpage to you, number one I will never reconcile with her. Number two, I haven't left it on for years, or I think even a month. Number three, I don't try to justify it as the right thing to do.
I will take this time to reiterate here the reason for the estrangement because you still don't seem to take it in. At the time of the estrangement, I loved you., maybe less than I once did. Your continued arguing and time has eroded that away to the feelings that I have now, and had probably 4-5 years after it happened. I don't know why it's important to me that you understand it. As to agreeing or disagreeing with my reasons, that's entirely your choice.
As I did ten years ago, I agree that permanent estrangement is necessary. If I had received the apology within the year, or just a validation that you understood where I stood, it might have been different. I accept that you did not know what to do or did not want to do that. There is nothing that can be done about that now, as I don't get that you really feel you did anything wrong, and as I said my feelings have changed.