Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Christmas & Thanksgiving Sans Dad

I was posting under an alias after my mother found me, but I wouldmuch rather post as myself, then I don't have to remembermy "background" story which does have a remarkable resemblence tomy story except for a few tweaks. Also, it's easier for me to air outmy actual story and events. I shouldn't feel the need to hide, Ihavenothing to hide from. That being said, I will ignore posts from THEPERSON WHO WILL NOT BE NAMED.Any way, this Christmas, Thanksgiving and Hanukah went well (wecelebrate all both). My cousins were all in touch with me, and cameto visit me since I was not going to be at the Eve's festivities thisyear. Reason being that I wanted to enjoy this Christmas Eve in thenew house, and did not think I would with Dad and Step-whateverthere. It's not that they should not be there for me to enjoy myother family members, but this year so close to the cut, I wanted totruly enjoy myself. So they came to check out the house and lendtheir support. I have nice cousins on that side, I don't really knowmy cousins on the other side. Before my mother-in-law lapsed into acomma, we had some good discussions on what unconditional love is andhow you can recognize it. So in a way, we hard our celebration beforethe actual holiday. One of my uncles came up to congradulate aboutthe house, I don't know if he knew about the situation, but he didn'tsay anything (and that would be a little unlike him, but who knows, heknows my step).Also my mother-in-law is dying, and so neither one of us needed theadditional undue stress that was sure to ensue. The step-whatevercan't be trusted to control herself. I heard they told everyone Iwas on vacation, not realizing, everyone knows the situation, and theski vacation that we went on was in the beginning of December.I did send dad cards for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. He sentnothing back. I am guessing that he has changed his mind, and hisfine with the step family and step son he always wanted. I don'tknow that for sure, but I did send a message to find out. We willsee.I have to say, I would be very releived if I did not have to hash outmy relationship with my dad. I did put the oars in the water, andhave done my best to keep the bridge up. If he brings it down,that's his decision and he brings it down. It's sad to say it wouldnot be that big a loss to me, although that being said, this hasn'tbeen easy to do.We all make our choices, and we all reap the consequences. Some canjust sleep better than others.

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