In training dogs, I talk a lot to my clients on progress. One should measure progress, track progress, and most of all know to recognize and acknowledge progress.
Sometimes we all fall back, but we should pat ourselves on the back for the challenges we have already conquered. Instead we often put ourselves down for being human. I don't congratulate myself a lot. I am not a boaster of accomplishments. I don't insist that others recognize my accomplishments even if I think they are pretty cool (except in the signature of my business cause that is part of marketing, which I am pretty poor at).
Reading my posts, I give myself the same titles (dumb, pathetic) that I have given my Donors. Once in a while I should give myself a little chuck under the chin, and say "well good job and all, buddy."
So Eggy pulled me in after not being successful for the last year and a half. The attempt to publicly accuse me of a crime, that I know she knows I wouldn't do and strongly suspect was made up in the series of posts (to pull me out of the wood work), did manage to get my very public attention (also an offer to call the Lancaster PA Police or FBI for her). Since then, Eggy wisely took down that post.
I am happy that I don't feel that same need for attention or acceptance from her. I am done, and have been done for 10 or 9 years now. It was stupid to allow her to pull me in with her fiction, and the attempt is pretty obvious. But hey, going without reacting for a year and a half is a pretty stellar accomplishment. People quitting cigarettes don't have it that easy.
It's been since 5/2009 that I have allowed either Donor to annoy me. Except for the post about sharing the beach with Spermy on my birthday this year, I don't think I have directly mentioned my family members.
I remember when these circumstances upset me daily, weekly, and sometimes took chunks of time (weekly) to settle down from them. This time I lasted a year and a half (I wasn't angry with anyone on my birthday post, just talking about having to explain to other family).
So good job. Way to go! It gets better and easier truly it does. I am not kidding when I do say I feel truly grateful that the Egg can not help but post publicly about how she feels about me online. It's a gift to be guilt free about that. Other people have to keep guessing at their donor's intentions, as their thoughts have not been typed out neatly for them. In looking forward to Thanksgiving, I will give thanks that it is very transparent and obvious for me.
Good job to me. When this journey began, I don't think I could have seen the day when this would not have been a constant annoyance to me:) Now off to my day of beach walking, dog training, dog walking, and enjoyment of the company of my husband. I have a pretty magical life, even when things aren't going totally my way:) Karma seems to largely like me.
1 comment:
Being that Thanksgiving is the beginning of the "holiday season" for some and ALSO Eggy's birthday, I did expect and shrug off the first two posts in which she though I was calling her dumb instead of three other people. Hey why not, I definately think she is intelligence challenged as far as humanness and common sense are concerned. I certaintly was not going to argue whether or not she liked or did not like being called dumb (as she argues that I am wrong about things in my life that she hasn't even been there for LOL). As far as accusing me of cyber stealing money from her in a list of suspects though...that was unacceptable, but I still should have let her stew at least for the "science experiment" aspect of it. She was already ramping up by being ignored in her first two postings. I don't know why then, number 3 would have been such a shock to me. Eggy would be a fascinating research project for some scientist...then again probably not, as I have been reading this is all TOO common.
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