Sunday Secret

I talked a little bit about IMHO the "real" reason my S Donor visits my blog.

My secret is, even if he was visiting because he honestly missed me, I would still not want to renew a relationship with him.

Thursday Thirteen Memories Of the S Donor

When I see the S Donor visit, it makes me angry because I know he is concerned about appearances alone. Though there is a secret this Sunday that I will share, I do really believe that knowing him as I have for 39 years before becoming estranged.

And if ever I feel the least bit sorry for him, I go and enjoy these particular beauties:

1. Sarcastic sorry, and I like to view the comments attached. I particularly enjoy the implication that the only way I would have been happy was to have ANY man in my life LOL. No, Robert, my husband, is just a nice guy and not a selfish sexist asshole. I actually don't need a selfish sexist (oh and racist) asshole in my life.


2. My advertisement for a new daughter for the S Donor. This isn't from him, and does not contain any comments from him, but it cracks me up every time I read it. Even more that I got no reply interested in this S Donor adoption. Go figure.


3. Passive aggressive jollies with attached comments. More excuses for his wife's behavior that include her lies. Oh, and he talks about the pets he bought me, and later killed off and neglected. Nice. Oh, yes and there's the college thing that he has been holding onto for 20 years. I apologized that I didn't make it through music school looooonnnnnnngggg ago.


4. A dream that I keep forgetting about but brings this home. "If you would only do exactly what I want....."


5. Christmas dream and what material things really are in my family.


6. S Donor ripping out my teeth dream.


7. My actual reasons for estrangement, when reviewed now still make a lot of sense to me.


8. What father's day can be like for me now!!! (or any holiday quite frankly)


9. Some final e-mail correspondence with the big S.


10. Ye old Italian guilt and Italian male sexism.


11. Weak excuses, and failing to listen way back as to why my mother and I are estranged. Or failing to listen to anything at all. (because he knows everything)


12. Again the explanation to dad, after an e-mail asking "what happened?", which he full well knew and again is not listening. Now he has it in writing.


13. Life is too short!!!

Virtual Sunday Easter Visit from the S Donor

Can I just post to you the days my dad does and will check this blog? In no particular order they are Easter Sunday, Christmas or Christmas Eve, Father's (hah) Day, Valentine's Day,....do you get the picture?

Interestingly enough these correspond with the days he would do his "S Donor" duty and call, or drop of a card, or prifty's candies. Yup, those were the good old days....hardyharhar. 5-15 minutes of stilted conversation talking to a virtual stranger.

Now I get "virtual" holiday visits. Meanwhile, he ripped up one Christmas card from me, and did not even bother to reply to a Thanksgiving message from me. And now I have realized how good it is to be free of him. I kind or realized that before, I was just being the "dutiful" daughter, which I have realized is a real waste of my time and energy.

What really fascinates me about these visits are that he reads up on himself. Don't you know yourself buddy? I have been assured by you that you are aware you were a crappy father. So you know it's not to "check up" on me, but rather check up on what I am saying about him LOL. Que surprise, my S Donor self serving and selfish, say it isn't so.

Glad I checked sitemeter today, I was stretching for something estrangement related to bitch about.

Anywho, Robert and I gorged ourselves on chocolate from Harbor Candy Shop in Ogunquit ME. Last year we went to the Wentworth for brunch, which I enjoyed but the husband did not (a lot of shrimp and stuff that I like....more lunch than breakfast----which he likes). He wants brunch for his birthday, which we will have at our favorite, Bintliffs, also in Ogunquit. Gingerbread pancakes with lemon curd syrup, now that's what I am talking about. Also the ribs for dinner are to die for.

Sunday Secret

I am very cynical about big business and politics, but then isn't everyone who isn't niave?

Thursday Thirteen (13) Ideas That I Have Entertained for Business

Okay, some of these have been just totally fun ideas that I had in my head alone (ie never actually seriously considered them, but still........)

1. Porno movie productions specifically for heterosexual girls and woman. A largely untapped audience, I am convinced of it!!!!


2. Horror movie theater/wine bar. Very gothic. In my head it works great, but probably wouldn't have a great following.


3. Horror movie only video store (okay, I think we all know what has happened to the video store industry.


4. Toy store, because I love toys and dolls. Opening up toys and dolls all day would be like Christmas every day!!!


5. Loose leaf tea business. This was actually my first try at a business, and it failed miserably. It now provides a lovely tax deduction each year.


6. Mailing list direct marketing and mailing business. Probably way more trouble than it's worth.


7. Body and bath store (probably a little bit overdone in all the places that I have lived).


8. Loose Tea restaurant (also serving light lunches and deserts). The fact that I really can't cook to any degree has held me back.


9. Anonymous nasty e-mail business. For those special of fake messages that you do not want coming back to you or if you lack the creativity to come up with a good one.


10. Reference check for the unemployed looking for jobs. Finding out what your employer is really saying about you. (I have used one of these services personally, and found one boss that was miffed about me leaving saying he would hire me back in a minute while trying to discredit me as well!!!!)


11. Estranged daughter, son, mother, father, wife, husband, or misc relative actor service. So it feels to the person that you don't want to talk to that you are still involved, but it's a hired actor sending the cards, fielding the calls, yesing them to death, et. Tricky part is if they wanted to see them in person LOL.


12. Accounting department for hire (including human resource help et). In the corporate world we used to have really good TEAMS of people that were becoming displaced due to merger, acquisition, or plain old closing of businesses. We figured we could have a team for hire for places in transition or were starting up, rather than just one temp that does not fit in or know how to work as a team.


13. Pet supply place. Which is still in the works as an add on someday to my current dog training business.

Friday Fishing

Elder Care in Estrangement Situations



Gallagher Comedian Estrangement



The Money Chord And Estrangement



Discussion with An Uncle over Reconciliation between Mother and Daughter



Lessons Learned Even When Parents Were Not Great



A Son Feels for His Mom

Thursday Thirteen (13) Blog Categories That Prevent Writers Block

Here are some categories that I used when I am having a hard time coming up with something to say:

1. Thursday 13


2. Friday Blog fishing


3. Tuesday Terror


4. Monday MeME


5. Too Much Info Tuesday (supplied by an actual site)


6. Saturday Cinema


7. Sunday Secrets


8. Tuesday Ten


9. Wordless Wednesday


10. HNT Half Naked Thursday (ok haven't done this one yet, so sue me)


11. Manic Monday MeME (supplied by an actual site)


12. Moany Monday


13. Followed by....Whiny Wednesday

Tuesday Terror-Joshua

This was a movie I found on Movies on Demand while selecting something that I could sleep to, yet be interested in getting my money's worth the next day. Let's just say, no sleeping occurred after this movie started.

Reviews didn't seem to like it, but I really enjoyed this creepy, quiet, and understated movie. That being said, I am going to check out the one the reviewer said was like it (only better) Birth.

Not really sure that I had the motivation right, and am confused about some things that happened and how they tied in with the overall plot and motiviation. The expected killing of the dogs and animals for instance? Perhaps it had something to do with the Egyptian mummification process that intigued him so?

That would be the one main complaint that I had with the movie. I was going to say more, but now I get into the area of perhaps spoiling the movie for any who haven't seen it.

***Note, it's interesting how many horror movies actually tie into the disfunctional family theme!!

Monday MeMe Tagged by Gretty

I was away on a ski vacation, so you will have to forgive my absence of late!!! Great ski vacation by the way, albeit a bit shorter than usual. You can read all about it here.

In the meantime, I shall do the meme tagged to me by the lovely Gretty!!

1. I can’t believe I’ve never…
Been to a REAL foreign country (besides Canada and Jamaica, which I do not count)

2. Every time I think about … I still cringe.
certain things I did in college.....nough said.
3. I wish I’d …when I had the chance.
Done more runs this last ski vacation!!!! And pre that, worked out and got in shape, so that I could have done more runs this last ski vacation.

4. I’ve never felt so out of place as when I…
I was with my biological parents.
5. … is my guiltiest pleasure.
The television show Gossip Girls.

6. I hope … knows how grateful I am for …
My mother-in-law for treating me and accepting me as family

7. In my darkest hours, I secretly blame … for my disfunction.
Bad friggin luck

8. … changed my life forever.
My husband, never figured I would ever want to get married before he came along.

Tagging (1)Just Me, (2)WTF, (3)Zigman, (4) Spanglemonkey and (5)Where There is A Will.