You know, I do realize I am venting passive aggressively to one in my audience. It must feel like to my regular readers that they are viewing a train wreck. Understand, I have 40 years of venting to do!! But I was almost over it before until my little "visitor" came.
What fascinates me is what is HE getting out of all of this? Is he flying into a rage at home in the old style I remember from my college days? Is he crying cause everything else in his life is falling apart, and so the old stand by is no longer available? Is he just semi interested in stories that he may not know or have been talked about until now? Is he thinking there is a chance in hell for a relationship with me? (cause the answer to that is no, as I had made clear. You had your chance, and quite a few they were)
Has he forgotten again why it is we are not talking? Should I link to the lengthy discussion where he replied he was not "stupid" he knew that? I mean what is it.
Probably, just like I go to check on dear old mom's blog on occaision, it's simple morbid curiousity. I know the old man is in denial. Everything has an excuse, everything is justified. The big surprise is his daughter -----errr offspring is not even pretending to take or believe in those excuses anymore. Go on, comment old man. Bring it on. Saw that you were going to before, lost your nerve? Hey, why don't you just call so I can tell you to F off in person? Oh, yeah, generally you or the monster need a third party as that's so healthy. Sorry, my husband is not available to be your mouth peice. Must have been dissapointing that neither you or the monster could sway my husband against me. Equally dissapointing to know that his family does in fact love me, and knows what the situation is.
One of the things that I have a hard time putting into words is the "everydayness" of the treatment, not the treatment taken as individual stories. They might even be amusing if it was a one time deal. Or if something more wasn't expected out of me as if this treatment had never happened, and we had a close relationship or something. Or that any close relationship was deserved by someone who had not ever earned it or my respect.