To be fair, I will make up a little list for my father, of what I am sure is going on in his head.
- Never liked sports, woodworking, or cars. Course could have liked them if my father ever showed that time with him could be fun, and not a time to constantly criticize and complain that I didn't like it.
- Was not an A student in Junior High or High School. I was a lackluster student except for in music. (as was my husband, and his parents still loved him)
- Had no interest in going into his profession pre-college or anything that smacked of the business world that I thought he was in.
- Did not always agree with him, or think he was right because he was "my father".
- He wasn't around me when I did this, but I drank in college and also experimented a bit with drugs.
- After high school and the divorce, instead of catering to him and coming home during, I wanted to spend time away from my family and with my friends. I just got out of that environment.
- I went away to study music (dad never thought it was a good career move).
- I stopped studying music and wanted a couple of years off to figure out what it was that I wanted to do (labelled under you just couldn't win).
- Excuses needed to be made when I quit the position that he was proud of (controller oh joy, and that's just why I did it NOT) that "other female execs" had done similar things. This is when I became a dog trainer and business owner. Thank Goodness there was that comparison so the utter humiliation could be short lived.
- Dissapointed in my choice of husband and boyfriend at first.
- That I wasn't gifted like the "gifted" students he prefers to make programs for. (like he's gifted?)
- I am sure that I am a reminder of my mother. Also, no doubt the reason it was fine for his wife to be abusive towards me.
- That I have not followed the path that he wanted me to follow, in the way he wanted me to follow it, for him.
*****Holy shit, I forgot, I lied once when I was 13 about a crank call to a neighbor's kid. I wrote about this before in this blog, but I wouldn't want the Donor to think I had left out any other unforgivable sin.
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