Thursday, May 03, 2007

The Effects of My Parental Relationships

Poor husband had to sit through the reading of some stuff today. "Wow, there is some real hate in that." He's right, I guess there is. I don't want to spend my time on this, but I have found bottling it up and repressing it worse. The writing thing seems to help. The fact that I had an audience just incensed me a bit more than usual (understatement I know).

We were talking on my first meeting his mother. I was very stand offish. I wondered, why are these people always stopping by and sticking their nose in my business? I didn't understand at first that they loved their son, as I never knew that sort of thing in my own parental relationships.

I knew blame, anger, criticism, threats, et al. That's what I would get from my parents, that's what I didn't want from his. Carefully, his mother and dad found a way to get to know this withdrawn suspicious girl. Both won my heart, and it was with great sadness that I lost Mrs Grace a year and a half ago to cancer. It was an incredibly hard time for the both of us.

To not be supported during that time is and was unforgivable. I don't even know why I gave anyone a chance to be forgiven, because quite frankly that was it. I just can't deal with people with that kind of lack of feeling for a complete stranger, never mind their own daughter and son in law.

The point is, this kind of treatment really damages people. It hurts them in ways that someone who is not being hurt like this will not understand.

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