Also, truthfully, the other reason for posting these thoughts is that it's hard for me to come up with topics of family estrangement. So when I do, or I have these thoughts floating around, I feel duty bound to pony them up for other people that may be going through this. My thoughts have been entirely too cheerful lately and not wanting to dwell on this
. At times, it is still important to purge this stuff out though, as it seems the healing goes faster than if I don't. Again, I don't know what it is about writing it out, and talking about it to people that are strangers to me, but in similar circumstances, but it does undeniably help me.
Also, I have that reunion coming up on June 30th, and I want to regurgitate as much now as I can. I am hoping not to drive some people into a rage close to the event, so might as well get these out now....though the avoiding thing has not helped me out so much in the past.
----Confession, I told the monster and the S donor the reason that I did not want her representing us at the sale of our house (as if the Cunt was even entitled to that) was to avoid a family confrontation if it didn't go well. The truth is, I didn't want her involved in the fucking sale of my house period.
----When I first told my S donor about my wishes, all he said was that I could tell her (which I planned to already, was just giving him a heads up) and that she would be upset. After the exchange happened, where the monster said I "humilated" her by deciding this, and that I ruined her marriage to the S donor for the last eighteen years (hey happy anniversary a$$holes by the way), then my S donor said "well she wouldn't charge you the commission", like that mattered. But in this side of the family's eye the only thing THAT DOES MATTER IS MONEY. So it would never occur to them that my mind wouldn't be changed or that dollars/cents had never entered my thought process, as to not consider that would never be a part of the S donor's or monster's thought process. I hope when they die, it's clutching what they truly do love and value----dollars and material posessions.
----Somehow the monster's son (and I suspect it was because the in-laws had gifted them the Boston Condo) avoided using his own mother as his representative in selling his house, but that was unacceptable for me to do. You know, because I owe the monster so much after she physically and emotionally abused me. Clearly, I owed her the sale of my house.