Saturday, November 03, 2007

Am I Heartless?

Though I do not talk to the E Donor nor want a relationship with her, I have gotten inspiration on topics from her blog. At the same time, I can't help but feel that I am unfairly picking her apart.

By the same token, you know WTF, she did that to me for my whole young adult life. She is a coward who can't take the same heat that she threw at me. And, let's face it, I have been out of topics really these days. With things going fairly well and all.

She has two new posts up. One is about siblings. I have no siblings. It may have been nice to have siblings, and have some support during my life:) Assuming that is what would happen of course.

My E Donor wonders the same. She muses her fantasy relationship would be great, but reality wouldn't. I think this really demonstrates why it's so hard to get along with her. You need to fit into HER FANTASY relationship.

Robert has different relationships with each of the siblings and loves them all. He is closer to some than he is to others. He is different than all of them, and I would doubt they would fit into some one's "fantasy".

I have a very good marriage however, but it is not a "fantasy marriage". If it was, we would still have our nubile 19 year old bodies, not growing old, and have all the money in the world. The thing is though, WE are responsible for OUR happiness not someone else, not even those closest to us.

My E Donor does not place that responsibility on herself but on others.

In her new post, she talks about me a little , devoid of the lying these days. Why? Because she knows that I check on her blog, ever since I got sick of finding blatant lies like "I didn't care that my grandfather or step brother died" et that were put up after she would get upset with me. Apparently, unlike someone with a real mental illness, she does know the difference, as now that she knows I read (since I called her out on all these things) those lies and fabrications no longer show up, and her writing is much more "generic". That suits me just fine, though I am hoping she will just SHUT THE F UP ALREADY, as she has been doing this for six years now!!! I mean get over it. She writes that she was over my dad (what was to be over? she left him and cheated on him?) in two years, which clearly explains why she was still obsessing over him and his not talking to her 20 years later LOL.

If it were me, by the way, and she has checked my blogs and spied on me for years (which was how I found out about her blog, as she was directing her readers to my family page, when I had one), I would keep writing whatever I want. Why? Because I don't lie and I don't have anything to be ashamed of. Apparently she does, and it's no wonder. She is such a coward in that regard, unable to apologize or tell the truth.

My whole time growing up she was such a "feminist" in her own eyes, but my S Donor "kept her from" doing things???????/ I mean, come on, is that a feminist? How is it that she gets so trapped when no one but herself is making the decisions or taking those actions? Yet any lack of joy or happiness in her life is someone else's fault.

Too funny.

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