Tuesday, November 06, 2007

The Other Grandparents

My E Donor's parents were real.....um, characters. They were truly selfish uncaring people, although my E Donor was apparently cared enough for that she made it through alive. So they weren't the absolute worst parents in the world by far......and also not the most loving by far.

The fights were not violent in my childhood, as they were in my E Donor's. There was also no alchol abuse in my childhood, as they were in my E Donor's. My grandfather did actually open up his home to them, so they had a place to stay when I was a baby. I hear their parents were worse!!! Something about a cane being broken over one of their kids backs......but I digress.

My E Donor is wondering about whether she knew her mother (my grandmother) or not due to the mental illness. That in fact, she wasn't seeing "her". Where does the mental illness end and the person begin? That is something she is wondering about, and I have answered for myself a long time ago.

She may be mentally ill, but she has been lucid enough in the past, where her actions have been HER ACTIONS. Period. She had the mental capacity to make choices, to know right from wrong,..... For instance, the breaking news of her "suicide" thoughts (which were only manipulation) stopped once I let her know the gig was up....for me. I know I have seen who she is, although I never really had a relationship with her. Or my grandfather. Neither cared to have a relationship, a real one in any event.

It occured to me recently that the "Hershey Bars" that were given to me, which I had mistakenly thought were a token of his love, were in fact just the bulk ones that he bought. (found out from my E Donor's post) They weren't anything ever special purchased for me, as I had mistakenly believed all these years, and the only thing that I had really received from him of an affectionate nature.

Their illness does not make them selfish a$$holes. They did that all themselves by disregarding the feelings of others.

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