Thursday, May 29, 2008

Thursday Thirteen (13) Thirteen Ways to Scare People Off When You Really Want To

  1. Honesty and bluntness to the right people, usually does it every time.

  2. When they think you are not going to call and confront them, call and confront them.

  3. If it's a man, any kind of reference to "that time of the month" or the tools used to stem the flow will do the trick nicely.

  4. Too much information is always a nice touch in a pinch.

  5. Talk unendingly about your children or show slides/pictures of family trips as much as possible. Short ones may be interesting, but if you are determined enough, you can bore the best of them:)

  6. Always talk about boring work details ad nauseum. No, no not funny stories, the really boring details.

  7. Own large scary dogs of these breeds German Shepard, Rottweiler, bully breeds, and Dobermans. Of course, have them trained so they are of no real danger LOL. You want ones that bark at the door when you don't answer, making visitor walk reluctantly away, but not ever think about cracking the door to look or call inside.

  8. Horror movie noises as loud as possible from your tv. The unwanted visitor is "hoping" tha was a movie. Slight danger that they may call the cops to be sure, but hasn't happened to me yet.

  9. Have your husband grow out his fro and grow his facial hair into lamb chops and goatee. Then have him answering the door.

  10. Animal bones hanging off of trees does nicely. You can probably find some fake plastic ones that look realistic from a distance.

  11. Hit people up for money (that you don't want to see of course) every time they come over.

  12. Do very inappropriate things loudly when out in public (like make fun of someone's accent where they can hear you).

  13. Oh yes, and make out with your significant other in front of unwanted visitors every time they come over. Actually, you should be careful that you don't do this with someone that may want to join in.

No comments: