Saturday, April 14, 2007

The Mind of My Husband

Oh, yes, it's that time boys and girls "musings of my man". You know, I need to capture these when they happen before I forget. And I only poke fun at him because he is a wonderful man. To make this up to him, and because of the fact that he thinks he is "blogging" while not actually blogging (LOL God help us all when he figures this out, he likes to "participate" with suggestions that I don't take now), I am gonna give you a little example of what he needs to deal with.

We are in the grocery store the other day, and are in the check out line. We are close to those magazines that I never by, I just read the headlines when I am way bored. Grocery shopping with the husband is such a trial on my patience. Besides my grandfather, I have never met a man that likes to meander through the grocery store like you are in the most fabulous clothes store made in the world (which distracts me to say, has anyone else realized Macy's does not have a mens section anymore? Or never did, see they merged with Filenes that used to have a good mens store, but I digress)

A little demo there of what might be called ADD. So on the cover of one of those mags, it says Tom and Katie to break up or divorce. No duh, did she finally come to her senses, I am thinking. Then I am thinking about the rumors of Tom's sexual preferences that went around after his first wife. Then I am thinking, man shouldn't there be a limit on how many failed marriages you can have in a so many years period of time. Then my thoughts become a loud booming voice when I say (loudly) to my husband "do you think Katie finally realized that Tom is a homosexual"? "Um, yeah plastic please, and ignore the wife, would ya?" Daggers come in the sideways look that says "uh, yeah, you have expressed your non-pc thoughts out loud again. "

Seriously though, I think I have said before hot male celebrities should NEVER make the mistake of speaking in public. EVER, it ruins all our sexual fantasies. And if you get married and divorced like a gazillion times or cheat on your wife or go all psycho scientology, it is like a negative 90% hit to your hotness. So all male hot celebrities that are reading this blog, take note. See, except for that one "incident", my hottie, Rob Lowe, has done it right. Okay, it's from the eighties get off me. I am stuck in my eighties college days. At least in the female to male equation, I am not sure whether male to male is the same. For instance male to female, guys could care less what Jolie says, quite frankly. She is just hot. She could do a million stupid things, and she would still be hot.....sigh.

Oh yes, now to humiliate the husband. Hmmmm, should have waited for something much better before letting loose my idiocy above. Here is a musing "I buy things when they are on sale". Okay to realize why this makes me roll my eyes. It's not that he buys things we NEED or WANT or have been LOOKING FOR when they are on sale. So prime example, candy. If it's on sale, it's coming home. It doesn't matter who is on a diet or wether it's on my "food I can not be trusted or expected not to eat if it's in the same building with me". Luckily the item that brought the comment up was brownie mix, which SOMEONE has to bake. Let me tell you folks, there was a request that I NEVER COOK at the beginning of our dating (and I think it was included in the wedding vows) which I heartily continue. So we all know that I won't be tempted to actually the bake the brownies. Those giradelli brownies for the mix are so good, and just the newest thing that was purchased solely because it was "on sale". As an previous accountant I go by the "time value of money" concept and only buy it on sale if 1) I happen to need it and 2) it's on sale. Otherwise I divvy up the 25 cents extra only when I need it.

1 comment:

crse said...

oh my god, my dad is the same exact way. Once we spent forty five minutes in the frozen aisle (no that is not even an exaggeration) so he could read labels on the vegetables for sodium content