My parents spend an awful lot of time blaming the divorce or each other for my estrangement of them. I really wish that they had/would listen to me. This never gets through to them. It's because of them. Because they are both selfish, self centered people. And in my dad's case, a selfish self centered person who can only seem to have relationships with other selfish self centered people, who he then allows to be abusive towards me.
That's not the divorce. Because they were selfish and self centered during the divorce in only being interested in themselves, does not make the divorce (a signed peace of paper/the end of their relationship) to be the route cause of the estrangement. In my mother's writings on the internet, and my dad's own responses to me, they just don't get it. And in not getting it, it shows they just can't listen or accept.
To do that, might be to consider that things that were done to me were not so nice. That's not the divorce, that is their choice. And then they will say "well if you just can't accept me the way I am". I expect people to accept me the way I am, yet I am supporting, loving, and accomodating to those people. So I can accomodate people that I love by being there for them. My parents can not do that. To do that would be to be unselfish. To have a relationship that is about us not just them.
Sigh, it's not the divorce.....she says half heartedly to the wind, which is the same as speaking to her parents. Frustrating.