Monday, December 11, 2006

Not Much to Write Today

Well, I think I might have written out my bad feelings for the quarter . It's Mrs. Grace's unveiling this upcoming weekend. I trust that my family members will not make an ill advised appearance this time, as they did for the funeral. They know nothing of love or support. In no way is their pressence helpful, or is meant to be (by them) quite frankly.

Any way, even though I loved my mother-in-law very much, Mrs Grace, was what I was most comfortable calling her. It was kind of hard to explain that mom did not have exactly great conotations for me. In fact if I called her that, it would have felt (to me alone) like an insult to her. She really loved me for who I was. At least, I think she did. Flaws, warts, and an inability to communicate just right and all. We didn't agree on feminism. We didn't agree on most politics. We didn't even agree on the OJ case, but there was something there that was fragile and special. It didn't come easy either, it took a lot of time. Then as it turned out, cancer cut her life much shorter than we would have all liked it to.

She held herself back from a lot of things as a young and older adult, but she also had the things she couldn't live without (her kids) because of that. At her parents request, she left college and entered into an arranged marriage. The marriage wasn't good, but all four kids came out of it. Mrs. Grace still always wished she had gone in that direction. I think knowing her kids though, she wouldn't have changed it in the end, if she was magically given a choice in the matter.

Then she married Marty later. Marty is a sweet and loving man, but he suffers from bipolar disease. He also comes from a culture of men that believe women are there to take care of them. When Jean became sick, he did what he could do, but it was hard for him to make that turn in life. Probably now that she isn't there at all, it's even worse, especially with our disease. The Poop is doing well considering. I need to call him.

Jean's kid and extended family were everything to her. That is what I will remember most about her. She was a best friend to each one of her kids. It's a relationship that I will never realize with my own parents. It can be annoying at times (unwanted advice, calls all the time), but in the end it's warm and fuzzy to know that person is there.

Jean did not much like animals. However, she always made it a point to pay attention to our animals, and even invite them into her house. Neptune was a frequent visitor. When we got Leon, it was like they were seeing their grandbaby LOL. She always made you feel special by taking an interest in what you were interested in even when it might not be her thing.

This weekend, I will be thinking of how much I miss Mrs Grace.

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